


Went Down to the River and Prayed

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Compliant, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, During Movie, Fairy Tale Elements, Harry is all sass and trouble, Hurt/Comfort, Kelpie Merlin, M/M, Merlin is trapped, Post Movie, Pre-Movie, Until it isn't, chester is of course an asshole, covering a lot of time here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: When the Kingsman formed they realized they needed more power than they had and the first Arthur had an idea. Magic. Their first task was a hunt, a way to gain power and strength and they found it.Decades later Harry begins to wonder why their quartermaster never seems to leave the estate and looks at the water so longingly. He always did like a puzzle.





	1. Prologue

He sat at the edge of the water, waiting.

He had been waiting a while but he didn't mind, he was built to wait, no matter how hungry he was. It had been quiet. His loch was at a crossroads and usually many stopped, ignoring the myths and stories of the area. He enjoyed how stupid people were, locals gave him a wide berth, but travelers were lured to the beautiful water and soft grasses. Still people were fewer right now, stopping less. Lorries with long boxes were more frequent.

But he waited.

He heard a car stop and smiled.

He was rather peckish, fish just weren't as satisfying as humans.

He came completely out of the water and his horse form was perhaps a little shaggy but gorgeous and strong as ever. Skin black, main lustrous, hooves strong. He whinnied and rose on his back legs. He called out, knowing humans could not resist a wild horse.

They were so foolish.

It was an old man, alone.

Pity.

He really did like the taste of children best.

He ducked his head and made a soft noise and the man approached.

"Hello, you beautiful creature," the man said. "Have you slipped your lead? I should see if a farmer is missing you."

He snorted a little. No one held his lead. But come closer old man, come closer.

"Poor horse, been quiet around here hasn't it?" the man murmured and came closer. "Do you even know what has happened in the world? Do you care that the world has been torn apart and all our sons killed?"

Of course he didn't. What did he care for mortals, beyond their organs being tasty, their skin so lovely?

"You have such strength, that is wasted," the man continued.

He felt wrong. Something was wrong. There was a shimmer to the man, he started to back away. He could go hungry a little longer.

He just had to get back to the water and he'd be fine.

The man threw a lead over his neck and he screamed. It burned and burned and forced him into a mortal form. He hated this mortal form. He tried to crawl back into the water but the man stepped on his back hard and pulled at the rope around his neck.

"None of that now," the man said. "You are needed. Perhaps not as useful as we were hoping, but magical creatures are few and far between."

He swore in the old tongue, a tongue not heard for two thousand years.

"You are claimed and chained beast and will serve us," the man said. "I am Arthur. Don't worry, you'll be fed, if you are good. Do you have a name?"

Names have power, and he was not going to give his to a man such as this.

"Well I suppose it is of no matter anyways, we'll just name you what we want. Merlin, it has an appropriate ring to it doesn't it?" the man said. 

"One day, I will laugh as I eat your liver," Merlin swore. He felt his horse trying to claw his way out but the bridle that looked like a necklace on his human form held him chained. "You cannot expect to control a creature such as me."

The man hit him with a billy club. "Watch me." He dragged Merlin to the car and threw him in the back.

It was a long drive to the Kingsman estate.

Merlin saw a small pond and was hopeful. If he could just get to it. But when he was yanked out of the car the man attached a length of rope to the necklace and staked it into the ground. Another man said an incantation and sliced his arm. The rope and stake disappeared and the magic scarred Merlin's soul.

Arthur smiled. "You can never leave this building and about 30 metres outside it until this length is removed. And we three are the only ones who will ever know where it is." He laughed and leaned in. "The pond is 32 metres away. If you are strong enough, maybe you can just reach out to it."

Merlin snarled and moved to attack but the magics forced under his skin stopped him. "And you'll never be able to hurt anyone who holds the title Arthur. We've been very thorough. Show the creature to his quarters."

The other man nodded and dragged Merlin away.

Merlin was going to eat them very soon.

 

_65 or so years later_

Harry looked at the other candidates. Posh, of course, but money too, something he sorely lacked. His family might have had names behind it, but never any money. And he could tell several in the room knew it.

A door opened and a bald man in glasses came in. "Hello, I am Merlin, your quartermaster and trainer. Can anyone tell me what this is?"

No one answered until Harry said, "A body bag."

"Very good," Merlin said and continued his speech.

Harry took a step back and didn't understand why the rest of the candidates didn't as well.

No man should look so hungry when staring at people.

When Harry passed the dog test he looked at Merlin. "Where did the other candidates go?"

"Go?" Merlin smiled and Harry flinched. "Where do ye think they went Galahad?"

"Home?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Wouldn't we all like to go home?" Merlin asked and walked out of the room, leaving Harry alone.

Harry wondered if it would be possible to avoid the quartermaster completely. The man terrified him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Galahad, you will need to consult with Merlin closely on this mission," Arthur said handing over the files. He caught the man's flinch. "Problem, Galahad?"

A thousand of them, and several hundred were the terrifying quartermaster. He had no idea how the other agents treated him dismissively or like a piece of useful furniture. How did they never notice the contempt in the quartermaster's eyes, the hunger? 5 years he had been with the Kingsman now and he did his utmost to avoid Merlin.

"Merlin is a little...intense," Harry finally settled on.

"You know, Galahad, you are a clever man," Arthur smiled. "Far more clever than some at the table. But if it eases your mind, you have nothing to fear from Merlin, not while an Arthur sits at the table."

Harry did not find that comforting in the least. "Yes sir, I'll go consult with Merlin then. Is he in his office?"

"He's only ever in four places, Galahad. By my side, his office, his quarters, or the edge of the estate near the pond," Arthur was smirking a little at that last one.

"He lives on property?" This surprised Harry. Everyone bunked down a time or two, but to stay.

"Man has dreadful agoraphobia, we offer him a kindness."

Harry realized that was a lie. It was the first time he saw that Arthur was not to be trusted. He gave a polite nod and walked down to Merlin's office but the man wasn't there. Harry had been there before, in was too in the middle of everything not to have been, but as he looked around he clued in there was not a single personal effect in the room. No framed photo, no mess, the coffee mug was even plain white. He knew nothing about the man, beside the help he provide during a mission. He wondered if any of them.

Harry had no idea where Merlin's quarters were and did not think it a good idea to interrupt the man there so he walked around the back of the state towards the pond and there was Merlin sitting on the ground, staring at the small bit of water. 

"Merlin, I have a mission and require your assistance," Harry said from a few metres away. Merlin glanced at him and Harry swallowed. He didn't know a face could look that heartbroken. The longing was sickening. Harry had always had a compassionate heart, his mother said. She had not meant it as a compliment. He moved closer. "It would be a nice day for a dip in the pond," he said softly.

"Aye, it would," Merlin agreed. He stood and took one small step forward and then flinched as if repelled. When he looked at Harry the longing was gone, replaced with anger. When he opened his mouth, Harry could have swore his teeth were a jagged mess, water reeds stuck in between a couple. But then the image disappeared and it was just their quartermaster. "Dinnae disturb me here again. It is the only place I have here, close to mine. Befoul it with your scent again, and we will have a problem. Clear, Galahad?"

"Very," Harry said swiftly.

Harry saw Merlin take one last look at the water and pretended he didn't. They went back to the office and it was all business. He was sure that Merlin hated them all, he could feel it down to his bones, but the man always gave them excellent, intel, tech, and help in the field. He looked at the lighter Merlin handed to him. "A fully powered grenade really? In this? That's astonishing."

"I am an old hat at transformation," Merlin said easily. "Now let us talk about the base. You will fuck up. So memorize this path," he showed Harry some maps and drilled into him different exits and codes until he thought the man was ready.

"I won't fuck up," Harry said confidently.

Merlin smiled at him, and Harry tried not to look at what seemed like extra teeth.

***********************************

Harry ran around a corner and found an unlocked door and went in and barricaded it with a desk. He pulled out the new comm system Merlin had created last year and pulled up the antenna. Oh god, he hoped it worked as Merlin promised. "Merlin, help. I fucked up."

There was static and silence. Harry had four bullets left. His suit was torn to shreds. He could have wept when he heard Merlin's voice.

"Of course ye did. Where are ye?"

Harry could hear schematics being shuffled around. "West wing, third floor."

"How the fuck did ye end up there?" Merlin roared.

"There was a tiger," Harry said. "Your intel didn't say anything about tigers. Interesting note, bulletproof suits, not so sturdy against fucking tigers. Now get me out of here!" Harry roared. He was met with silence. Harry realized how easily Merlin could get rid of him now. All he had to do was say he tried, but the comms cut out. And the only person to see the quartermaster vulnerable would be gone. Harry closed his eyes and said a quiet prayer. He didn't know he was saying it out loud.

"That is an old prayer, and a dark one, when ye think about it," Merlin said. "And not one to the Christian god."

Harry blinked. "I didn't -" he took a breath. "My great grandmother, believed in many things, and she used to say that as she tucked me in. I don't know why I said it now."

"Hmmm," Merlin said. "Let's get ye home, Harry. If ye die by claw and tooth, it will be mine not a tiger. Listen carefully." Harry followed the exact steps Merlin suggested and in an hour was on his way to the extraction point. Then he remembered Merlin's comment of tooth and claw and shuddered. 

************************************

Harry walked into the offices trying to look calm, even though his one trouser leg was barely staying on and the back of the jacket was rather missing. He need a few stitches and just took a local for them. Easy. Less so was wanting to give thanks to Merlin. He went to his locker and put on spare trousers and a shirt. He went to his office and typed up his report. It frustrated him, Merlin had all these gorgeous computers but King was still insisting agents were fine with type writers. Harry was going to spend his own money one of these days to buy an IBM. But it was a rather lot of money.

He went to King's office and handed over his report. "Sir," he began.

"Yes, Galahad?"

"Merlin...he's -" Harry could not figure out how to finish that sentence.

Arthur's gaze sharpened. "Has he caused you problems?" Arthur's smile had far less teeth than Merlin's, but was somehow more disturbing. The horror that came off of Merlin felt more honest. "I will deal with him, if that is the case."

Harry did not like Merlin. But he liked the sound of that even less. "No sir, I was just going to say, he's created some amazing tech for the field. What he can now put in such a small space is incredible."

Arthur nodded and sat back. "He's got a gift for transformation."

"Yes, sir, he does," Harry agreed. "Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Galahad. Well done."

Harry walked through the estate and of course Merlin wasn't in his office. He remembered the warning and went out back anyways. His mother always said  _fools rush in where angels fear_. He knew she was talking about him. Now that he thought about it, she wasn't a very good mother. But then she did rather raise a fool.

Merlin was standing this time. "Oh, Harry, disappointed ye didn't die in the field and come to rectify that mistake?"

"No, I do like living," Harry said.

"I somehow doubt that, if ye are standing behind me," Merlin said not turning around. "But I am feeling oddly generous to ye Harry, I'll look to my heart a little longer. When I turn, if ye are gone we'll forget this." Merlin stared at the water, black in the moonlight.

Why the hell was he calling water, his heart, Harry wondered. He planted his feet and waited.

Merlin turned and walked slowly to Harry. "Feeling brave are we?"

"No, very foolish actually," Harry said.

Merlin laughed and it scraped at Harry's spine. "Do ye know how much I despise the Kingsman?"

Harry swallowed. "Yes. I think I am the only one."

"That is true," Merlin agreed. "Ye are scared of me."

"Yes," Harry whispered.

"Smart," Merlin said. His toes were brushing Harry's and Harry realized that Merlin was the tiniest bit taller than him. Usually his stupid long legs put him taller than people. "You are the first interesting person here in a very long time."

"How long?"

"There was an agent in 1930 who was interesting. His kidneys were sweet," Merlin said. He leaned in and licked Harry's neck. "Ye missed a spot of blood."

Harry shivered. "I came to thank you for saving my life."

"Ye ken, that some say, if ye save a man's life, it is yours from then on," Merlin whispered to him. "Do ye believe that?"

"Please," Harry begged. 

Merlin stepped back. "Yes, the first interesting human in a while. We'll keep you around for a time yet." 

He walked back to the estate and Harry collapsed to the ground, desperate for air.

Harry did not like the way Merlin said human, like it was a foreign thing.

Like it was a thing, Merlin was not.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Harry disliked the file room. It was a cavern and poorly lit for a place that held papers. And dusty, so very dusty. He sneezed and apologized to the dust for disturbing it. But he was a man on a mission. For months his brain had turned over the way that Merlin had said  _human,_ like it was a foreign word. A disgusting word. A word that didn't belong to him. Well he hadn't been voted most likely to be found in the library in public school for nothing. His research skills are unparalleled.

His patience perhaps is less so and he realized starting in the present and working back was not the best idea. 

Then he remembered that Merlin had mentioned an agent in the 1930s. He walked through all the cabinets until he reached 1930. He opened it up and began to search. Eventually he found a file that said a Kingsman died in the field in 1931, but it was in South Africa, and he body had never been recovered. Harry read that again. And then he was furious with himself. All this time and the man had been pulling an elaborate prank. A joke at Harry's expense. Harry gathered up the file and stormed out of the room. 

Harry walked quickly steps echoing in the hall until he reached Merlin's office. The man was drinking from his mug and just staring into space. Harry realized how often he had caught the man staring at nothing. It was odd how much Merlin day dreamed considering how busy he was.

"You fucking wanker!" Harry shouted and slammed the file on Merlin's table. He paused and for a second wondered if he should run as Merlin's unfocused gaze turned and landed on him. He looked like death come to call. But then Harry remembered it was all a part of the bit. "You've been playing me. A joke for years? Because what I was a bit scared of you during the training period, which since you dropped me out of a plane without a parachute was rather warranted?"

"I dinnae do any such thing," Merlin said.

"I'm sorry?"

"Ye had a functioning parachute. Nae my fault ye were dumb enough not to try the cord," Merlin shrugged.

"You said one was malfunctioning," Harry frowned.

"Nae. I said what would happen if one was malfunctioning," Merlin smiled. "Nae my fault, ye all were idiots and dinnae listen."

"We were free falling!" Harry shouted.

"Ye lived," Merlin dismissed and turned to a computer.

Harry needed to get back on track. "I looked through the files."

Merlin turned and snarled. "Did ye mess up my system?"

"No, I know how to file," Harry made a face. "And that isn't the point. Agent Kay, declared KIA, in 1931, in South Africa, never recovered. You couldn't have eaten his kidneys. You've been taking the piss, for years now." Harry crossed his arms and looked smug. "And I figured it out."

Merlin was very still and he tilted his head in that weird way he did when contemplating someone.

Harry realized now just how affected the look was. "I have to admit that you had me going. Like that head tilt there, the way you move your hands. How much have you practiced that? In the mirror to I bet," Harry rambled. "And the effects! How have you made me think I see you with monster teeth. Like just these huge long things with water reeds inside them. Is it mirrors, a minor drug?" Harry was so happy he figured it out. "It's the best prank I've ever seen."

"Prank," Merlin said slowly.

"Prank, joke, taking the piss," Harry waved a hand. "Years of commitment to a bit, that is just..." Harry gave him a round of applause.

Merlin all of a sudden smiled and it wasn't that apex predator one that Harry had previously seen, but a huge and blinding one.

"Good lord, you are attractive," Harry blurted out.

And Merlin laughed. A huge booming laugh. And he gave a bow. "Ye figured me out." He kept the friendly smile on his face. 

Harry blushed a little, the man was quite attractive, now that he wasn't being terrifying.

"I like to be alone, and being scary is the best way to achieve. If people think I am lonely, they want to be my friend. I don't want a lot of friends," Merlin shrugged.

"Arthur said you had agoraphobia," Harry said. "Was that true? Has all this been a cover for that?"

Merlin's smile was smaller, a tinge of irony to it. "Aye, I am very trapped here."

"I could help?" Harry offered.

"It is silly, the way my brain works, I could nae ask you to help with my situation. It would sound crazy," Merlin looked so sad.

"My great grandmother insisted we had a brownie living in the cupboard, and that I leave offerings of bread and honey at the edge of the forest," Harry laughed. "I thought her a witch when I was little."

"Was she?" Merlin asked seriously.

"What? Of course not, just a sweet old woman who believed in fairy tales," Harry smiled.

"Then ye would definitely think me insane," Merlin said sadly. "If I told ye my tale."

Harry was sure that this was all a new aspect to the joke and now that he was a part of it, he was ready to enjoy it. He pulled over the spare chair in the office. "Tell me," Harry said eagerly.

Merlin sat in his chair and his gaze went distant again. "It was the first Arthur ye see. They knew that to meet their goals for the Kingsman they needed more power than they had as humans. The first act of the Kingsman upon formation was to find a magical beast, something of myth and bind it to them, give them its power. But creatures such as that were fewer and fewer in the world - that damned industrial revolution. The fae have all but abandoned this realm. And then one day, Arthur went to the water's edge and found a creature. Not exactly what they had hoped but still, better than nothing. And they chained it and used ancient spells to bind it to place and king." Merlin sighed. "They made sure I could nae step too close to the water, for if I reach that pond, then I can break the spell on me."

Harry was enchanted. It was of course clearly some sort of psychological break that had happened, and Merlin in his pain or tragedy created this story to help him cope. But maybe, maybe if Harry helped him, then Merlin could manage to at least get to the village or something.

"So if I help you reach the water, you'll be okay?" Harry asked.

Merlin shook his head. "It is nae so easy as that. Like I said spells bind me to the building. An invisible chain spiked to the ground, and Arthur has something important I need returned before I can be free."

Harry nodded, slowly, setting up Arthur as an antagonist made sense. He put the pieces together in his brain, remembering the stories he had been told. He added 1 and 1 and came up with 3. "You need your fur back!" He shouted. Oh, he understood now. The fur was his courage, the healing of his mind.

"Excuse me?" Merlin asked dumbfounded.

"You're a selkie aren't you?" Harry was pleased with himself. For a second, Merlin looked enraged, and Harry could again see something not human about him, but it was gone quickly, a trick of his mind while they were talking about this. "The Kingsman took your fur to keep you trapped and if we find it and give it back to you, then all will be well," Harry said. It must have been a mission, the tech was sent out into the field and something went wrong. He was only a couple years older than Harry, but must have started the job young. That explained it all.

"A selkie," Merlin said. "Aye, Harry. Find my fur, and break the curse. Though of course, we should keep this to ourselves, I don't want to confuse anyone, or cause them hope that I might be finally free." Merlin smiled charmingly. "I cannae help ye find it, I can maybe tell ye..." it was clear the words were choking him, painful to get out. "Buried in the grounds," he managed to get out.

Harry stood up, strong and noble, trying to look every inch the hero he believed the Kingsman to be. "I'll help you be free Merlin," he said. He reached out to touch Merlin in sympathy, but let his hand fall when he saw the disgust on Merlin's face. He figured touch averse, perhaps had been tortured on whatever mission went wrong. The first step would be back to the file room, try to find any details of Merlin in the field. He gave a small and theatrical bow and left.

*****************************

"Selkie," Merlin was pacing in his quarters. "A fucking, pathetic seal that cannae remember itself? Those weeping, begging creatures?" he snarled out loud. He couldn't believe that was the conclusion that Harry came to. Like he would be so weak as those beings. Disgusting. They didn't even taste good.

But...

He had a Kingsman on his side, even if the idiot didn't know what side that was. And perhaps that would be enough to destroy the magics binding him.

He could play nice, clearly Harry had been entranced by his smile, Merlin could be generous with those.

And then when he was free, and Harry ran, those long legs trying to carry him away, well, Merlin would be kind.

Arthur though, him Merlin would delight in taking his time.

Merlin looked out the window to the pond. He ran his tongue over his teeth.

A fucking selkie.

Harry would have to pay a little for that insult.

Merlin wondered how beautiful Harry would look when he begged and dismissed the thought, reminding himself humans were never beautiful.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry figured it was silly but sweeping the grounds with a metal detector was a reasonable place to start. When other agents asked what he was doing, he said it was a punishment from Arthur, they could all well believe it, Harry did skirt the rules frequently. Harry thought maybe he'd find a gun, or knife, or something that Merlin had had to use on the mission that went wrong and had buried it. But in three months of looking he had found a watch and some loose change. He was annoyed at the lack of success.

Harry walked to Merlin's office. "I didn't find anything," he said and sat down.

Merlin didn't look at him, typing furiously. "Tristan, just jump through a fucking window, and tuck and roll."

"Understood," Tristan voice echoed in the room. They were quiet as they heard glass shattering. "On route," he said.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Merlin though kept typing. He finished and got up and started to stalk out of his office. Harry stayed where he was. Merlin turned and snapped a finger, "Heel," he said.

Harry frowned. "I am not a dog."

"Heel," Merlin ground out, voice sharp as knives.

Harry knew it was all pretend but he found himself getting up. That was not a voice to ignore. But he straightened his shoulders and repeated, “I am not a dog, to be commanded.”

Merlin did that disconcerting head tilt. Harry realized he had been doing it less with Harry, it made him more unsettled that it used to. “Really, Galahad?” Merlin moved closer, “Because I think I could very much have ye begging at my knee, begging for me to pleasure you.” Merlin went down the hall and Harry followed, trying to ignore that that had made him hard and a bit aching.

They were going down hall that Harry realized he had never actually been down before. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“My lair,” Merlin said.

“Well that’s ruddy ominous,” Harry said. “Is it dark, one flickering bulb, cobwebs everywhere?”

Merlin huffed and rolled his eyes and opened a door. Harry had to blink at how blindingly white the space was. Merlin handed him a lab coat. “Dinnae touch anything or I’ll eat yer fingers.”

“Then I can’t dig for your fur,” Harry whispered seeing all the people working. Merlin’s jaw tensed for a second and then relaxed. “Who are all these people?” Harry asked.

“Did ye think all the gadgets just magically appeared?”

Harry was silent.

“Good lord, for a man who was titled but a bloody pauper before he joined, ye sure managed to still have the silver stick up yer arse,” Merlin said.

“Isn’t the phrase silver spoon in your mouth?” Harry asked.

“Oh? Do ye prefer things in your mouth to your arse?” Merlin asked.

“What’s with the flirting?” Harry asked. He knew a couple people in the room were now watching them.

“I find your reactions curious,” Merlin said. “Plus the flirtation, distracts ye, makes ye pliable.”

“For what?” Harry asked.

“To be the labs guinea pig,” Merlin smiled. “Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in history of the glorious institution, I have brought ye an actual Kingsman to test your wares on,” Merlin gave them a bow.

Harry stared at him in horror as the lab techs and scientists swarmed. Merlin just leaned against a wall and gave him a wave. Questions were thrown at him, someone was measuring him and all of a sudden a pair of glasses were put on him.

“These are heavy,” he said.

A small woman spoke to him in rapid fire hindi, he knew a little but gave his apologies.

“She is sorry they are still so heavy, they are working on it,” Merlin said. The tech went over to him and handed him a clipboard.

“What’s that?” Harry asked. “It doesn’t have paper on it.”

“It will to hide it from King, later,” Merlin said. He tapped it and it lit up. “Tap the side of your glasses Harry. The right side.”

Harry tapped them and all of a sudden a slight shift in the colour changed a little. He looked over when the woman and Merlin cheered. He had never seen Merlin that authentically happy before.

Merlin looked at him. “They work!” Merlin held up the clipboard and Harry stared at it stunned. It...was him. His view point.

“Iffen ye wear these on a mission, I can see with your eyes, no more relying on schematics and just your voice. You always fucking mix up your left and right, and now I won’t send ye right into a trap again.” Merlin tapped on his clipboard a little more. “Tap on the left side,” he said and hit the lights.

Harry did and let out a breath. “Night vision?”

“We don’t have that lasting long, maybe 5 minutes before it overheats and melts the lenses, so only use it in an emergency, sir,” a man explained beside him. “Can we just say sir, how helpful it is to actually have an agent come in here? Would you be willing to answer some questions about field equipment. The reports we get never give us details, just what needs to be restocked.”

Harry took the glasses of slowly and handed them to the woman. “I...of course,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“For what sir?”

“Not realizing what went into I take into the field.” There were easily twenty people in the room. “I am at your disposal.” Harry sat at a table and it was only after 30 minutes of talking that he realized Merlin had left.

Eventually he made it back to Merlin’s office. “Why did you bring me there?”

“Because ye were the only agent I thought I could get to go,” Merlin said, fiddling with the new clipboard. “Because other agents ignore me outside the mission.”

“Because you want to keep me alive,” Harry said. Harry smiled. “You want to keep me alive.” He bounced a little on his heels. He was still wearing the glasses, though they were turned off. The techs had suggested he get used to the weight.

“Ye are useful to me,” Merlin said dismissively. He stood up to get something from a cabinet and froze when Harry hugged him.

“I am going to make you okay,” Harry whispered in his ear and then hurried out of the office.

Merlin was left wondering if anyone had hugged him. Ever. He couldn’t think of an instance and shrugged and went back to work.

 

For the next year, Harry kept searching the grounds and finding nothing. And after every mission, he went and discussed it with the lab techs. The quality of equipment the Kingsman had increased tenfold, and he always had a little something extra than other agents.

He hugged Merlin four more times. The man never responded, but he occasionally said something filthy that made Harry blush and have to find a bathroom and have a wank.

He was back from a mission and the labs and an old man, one who always sat in a corner and never spoke to him came up to him. “You are a fool,” he said in a raspy, smoker’s voice.

“It has been said before,” Harry said.

“You trust that creature?” the man sneered. 

“I do not feel you should speak of him such,” Harry said stiffly. “He is your employer and he had always made sure I come home alive.”

“I am 78, and started working here when I was 23,” the man said.

“That is a long time, for certain,” Harry smiled politely.

The man reached into his wallet and pulled out a photo. “Me. Him. Only photo. The Arthur’s have always made sure there are never photos of him. I am 30 there.” He stabbed a finger at it. “Look.”

Harry stared at the photo. Merlin looked exactly the same. “That’s impossible.”

“Not if you are a monster. Not if you aren’t human,” the man said. He shook his head. “Don’t trust him and whatever you are doing to help him - stop, or you’ll kill us all.”

The head of the lab came over and hustled the man away. “Sorry, Merlin refuses to retire him out, said he would die without the job. He mostly sleeps at his desk and mutters about the Kingsman being fools for binding darkness to their work. Wakes up screaming about water and blood.”

Harry swallowed. “It’s okay, sincerely. I do need to be off though.” Harry left quickly and went to Merlin’s office but hovered outside when he realized Arthur was talking to him. He was able to just hear them.

“We need your...special skills,” Arthur said to Merlin.

“I’m busy,” Merlin answered.

“Aren’t you hungry? Don’t you long to feel the water?” Arthur said. “Bors brought him in. We need to question him, scare him, and if I get what I want, you get what you want. How long has it been since we let you have blood in your mouth?”

Harry felt his heart stutter.

“Very well sir,” Merlin agreed.

Arthur left by the other door and never saw Harry.

Merlin stayed in his office for another moment. “Harry, I was told the old man spoke to you. Ye should really nae follow me right now. Absolutely shouldn’t.” Merlin waited and then came out of his office and didn’t look at Harry, just walked down the hall.

Harry tried to get his feet to stay still, stay put. He shouldn’t follow.

He followed.

It was in the basement. He was able to just see into the room with the way Merlin had left the door. There was a pool in the basement. But not...it looked more like a pond and Arthur was standing there smiling at a man bound to a chair. 

“You should just answer my questions, it will go much easier for you.”

The swore at Arthur in Russian and Arthur responded in kind. More back and forth and then Arthur switched languages. It was something Harry didn’t recognize at all. The air shimmered and Merlin stepped forward. He was back to looking scary.

“Ye really should answer the man’s questions. For your own sake,” Merlin said. “For mine, well I prefer ye don’t.” Merlin slowly stripped off his clothes.

“Rape?” the bound man laughed. “This is the great threat you carry?” 

Arthur shook his head. “Merlin, become yourself.”

Merlin smiled and stripped his pants off. He then tipped himself back into the water with a sigh. Harry froze when Merlin didn’t come up after a minute. Or two. Or five.

Arthur was humming to himself. “If you talk, I’ll take you away before he comes up. It will still be a couple minutes. He gets a two minute shower every other day usually. He likes to take his time.”

“He has an air tank under there,” the man dismissed.

“He really doesn’t. I should step aside we haven’t fed him a couple years, it is bound to get messy. Learned that the hard way, first time I fed him. Just a mess.” Arthur looked at his watch. “Last chance.”

“Fuck you,” the guy snarled.

Harry threw up when the water broke. It still looked like Merlin, but it wasn’t human. The skin was grey, and the eyes sunken. The teeth almost didn’t fit in his mouth and reeds were trapped between. Black, almost tar, was dripping off him as he slowly climbed out of the water.

“What the fuck is that?” the man asked.

“That is our secret weapon,” Arthur said. “You really want to start talking before he reaches you.” 

Merlin’s hands touched the ground and became hooves and he slowly changed to a skeletal black horse that was beautiful in its horror. The man started babbling, telling where bases were, codes, everything as Merlin now fully horse reached his side.

“Thank you for that information,” Arthur said.

“Let me go,” the man begged.

“No,” Arthur said coldly and walked out of the room. “Merlin you have 15 minutes before the spells bind you again. Enjoy.” Arthur stalked out.

Harry watched the horse whinny and close its mouth on one of the ropes and drag the man back to the water. Harry listened to the man screaming, begging, and thought he should interfere. He stepped into the room. “Merlin?”

The horse looked at him and just kept dragging until it moved its head sharply and the man went under. The horse disappeared into the water and there was splashing and Harry didn’t dare go closer. He didn’t want to see what was happening under the surface. When the severed arm came out of the water he had a good idea. He stayed back against the wall. 15 minutes later, the Merlin he recognized crested out of the water fast, like he was almost propelled out. Some of that black tar lingered on his skin. So did the blood.

He stood up slowly and looked at Harry.

“You have something, right there,” Harry said, trembling.

Merlin wiped the smear of blood around his mouth, the tiny bit of heart that was at the corner. 

Harry bent over and threw up some bile again. He grabbed his pocket square and wiped his mouth and straightened.

Merlin came close and crowded him against the wall. “Still want to find my fur for me Harry?”

“What are you?” Harry tried to lean as far away from him as he could.

“Look it up,” Merlin said. “And Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Lay off the gin a little. When I eat your liver I don’t want it to taste so much of juniper,” Merlin leaned in and licked Harry’s neck, left a little of the blood behind. He walked over to get his clothes.

“A Kingsman only kills to save another.”

“I am no Kingsman,” Merlin said calmly as he dressed.

Harry made his hands fists, to try to stop the tremble. “You won’t eat me.” He inched towards the door.

“Are ye so sure of that?” Merlin adjusted his sweater, went to the mirror to finish wiping off the blood. He looked at Harry in the mirror and smiled.

Harry could see the shadow of those teeth.

  
“You won’t eat me,” Harry repeated. He wouldn’t run, but he didn’t turn his back to Merlin until he was halfway down the hall. “You won’t eat me,” Harry kept whispering this to himself over and over until he found an empty bedroom. He screamed into a pillow until he lost his voice.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry went on a three month mission. He had begged Arthur with a voice almost shot from screaming and he went deep undercover. The advantage to that was Merlin didn’t handle the long term missions and he had the soothing voice of Yvaine in his ear whenever he needed assistance.

He woke up screaming most nights, seeing that pool, what Merlin was. Some nights he dreamed that he was dragged under the water. Worse were the nights he dreamed of the Merlin he had known before kissing him, holding him, fucking him.

Harry woke up horrified from those and hated his body for being hard and aching. To want such a monster was disgusting. The one time he had taken care of himself and called out Merlin after he had learned the truth he had been sick. Now he just waited for the ache to pass.

He had to figure out what to do when he returned. He figured the best thing he could was not try to free the beast, but to kill him. Harry had a day off and went to the library. He requested every book they had on British monsters and mythological creatures. When he saw a picture of a selkie he clapped a hand over his mouth to stop his hysterical laughter. He flipped through the pages and had to stop and go back. There was a picture of a horse carrying children to the water.

_ Kelpie _

He read the entry and then looked up the creature in the 3 other books he had. There was no positive, no redeeming feature, just death, mostly of children. The one legend that had a positive spin was a child who escaped by cutting off his own hand to do so. They were supposed to be a cautionary tale for children, not real. But as he looked at pictures, he saw variations of Merlin.

In the one book it talked about how to bind a kelpie to service and that binding such a creature would force a human form. Someone along the way had done that to Merlin and they built the pond in the basement and fed him candidates and prisoners to keep him strong.

To keep his magic strong.

But he remembered the way Arthur said they monitored the water Merlin had, the way that Merlin looked at the pond with heartbreaking intensity. His heart ached, until he forced himself to remember that Merlin wanted to kill them all for his captivity.

Harry couldn’t make all the pieces fit and couldn’t figure out what to do so he buried himself into mission, eventually cutting a large swath through the mafia. Only of course he somehow ended in the thick of it, in front of a giant computer that he needed to deal with in order to escape. 

“Yvaine,” he said into his comms. “I need rather a lot of help.” He froze when a brogue came into his ear, low and seductive.

“Aye, Yvaine apprised me of the situation and I am here, Galahad. I know this system better than her.”

Harry shivered, the voice entrancing and repulsive all at once. “Merlin, what do I do?” he asked. He had no idea if he was talking about the mission or what he should do when he gets back. The silence that follows scrapes against his brain.

“Survive,” Merlin said finally. “Ye survive, Galahad, for an hour, for a day, a week. And for right now we focus on the hour. Now to start, did ye pay attention at all to the DOS prompts I told you about?”

“Ah…” Merlin laughed a little and Harry realized it didn’t sound quite right. “Merlin do you have a cold,” he paused. “Do ye even get colds?”

“Aye. A bug has made its way through the estate,” Merlin said. “Now let us bring ye home.”

Three hours later, Harry was on the plane back to England. He asked the pilot to just drop him off in the middle of nowhere France and the man laughed, thinking it a joke. Upon his return, Harry had a hot shower and quickly went down to the labs to thank the people for their tech and make a couple suggestions. He was going to his office to fill out a report when a secretary told him that Arthur wanted to see him.

Harry nodded and followed them to the office. “Hello, Arthur,” he said. He took the chair Arthur pointed to and they talked of the mission in very polite euphemisms. 

“We are glad to have you back, Galahad,” Arthur said as he leaned back in his chair. “And we need to talk about what your return means.”

“Sir?”

“I know what you had been doing before, but I trust now that you know the truth, you will stop your foolish quest?” Arthur smiled. “I’m sure that you understand it is best for everyone that he stay bound.”

“How is it best, if he has the chance he’ll kill us all,” Harry said. “He will eat us all, and he will laugh as we are swallowed down.”

Arthur shook his head. “As long as there is an Arthur in place, he can do nothing. He is bound body and soul - or whatever a monster such as him considers a soul to be.” Arthur looked at Harry. “I’ve added extra protections to that which binds him to the estate, just in case you had sympathy for the monster. And he has been punished for allowing you to learn the truth. Only three people were supposed to know the truth.”

“What three people?”

“Myself, my chosen successor, and that old man in the labs,” Arthur nodded to Harry. “He is quite harmless, no matter what vague threats or promises he made to you.”

“Merlin is many things, but harmless? No, not a word I would use.” Harry stood up and walked out.

He went home and poured a drink.  The word punished rolled over and over in his mind. Merlin was evil, there was no question. He had watched blood and ichor pour from the monster’s mouth.  But what Arthur considered an acceptable punishment for one already caged in spikes was concerning. Harry doubted it was gentlemanly.

It was very late when he got up and dressed and drove out to the estate. He moved quietly through the empty halls. Merlin wasn’t in his office, or his chambers. Which left one place really.

Harry heard gravel crunch under his feet as he walked in the dark to where Merlin was staring at the pond. “Welcome home, Harry,” Merlin said without looking up.

Harry could smell him from five feet away. He sat on the ground beside him about to make a snarky comment, and paused. “You look dreadful.”

“Always the gentleman, your mother must be so proud,” Merlin said. He reached out his hand and snarled when it seemed to hit a wall that burned him. “They moved the barrier a metre out. Just a little close to taunt me.”

“You are filthy,” Harry said.

“I was naughty, letting you learn the truth. When Arthur found out, I was punished.” Merlin’s tried for his usual terrifying smile, but it feel short, lacking the shine, the sharpness. He was also pale, eyes sunken, and a tremor in his hand.

“Whipping?”

“Human injuries heal in moments on me,” Merlin said dismissively.

“Have you not been...fed?” 

“How delicate ye say that,” Merlin said. “And no, but three months is not so long, I can go 18 months before it gets to me.” Merlin pressed his hand again and swore.

“Then what can do this to you?”

“I have been cut off of water completely for almost a month,” he snarled. “They gave me enough to sustain me before, just, and now, I have another week before I return to my 2 minute showers. And it fucking hurts Harry.”

“Well I imagine being eaten by a kelpie isn’t like kitten licks,” Harry said. But he frowned. “Why not just defy them and have a shower?”

“Used my own tech against me. I cannae any room that has a shower or faucet.”

“What about -” Harry was glad it was dark and Merlin couldn’t see his flush.

“I don’t shit, Harry,” Merlin said bluntly. “After I feed if my body rejects any of the matter I throw it up like an owl with bones.”

“That’s rather handy, actually,” Harry said. “Also that was left out of the books.”

“Yes, well David Attenborough never really got to my sort,” Merlin said. “Would ye like to know if my mating habits are different than humans?”

“No!”  

“Ye used to. Ye used to come to my office smelling of spend and I bet you called my name as it fell.”

“Which was before I knew you ate people,” Harry said.

“Ye eat pigs, they are just about as smart if not more so than most of the people I’ve eaten.”

“Thank you for turning me off of bacon,” Harry looked at the pond. “Arthur thinks he has you in hand.”

Merlin didn’t answer but tucked his knees up and rested his chin on them and stared sadly out at the pond.

Harry didn’t feel sorry for the monster. He didn’t. He got up and went into the estate, determined to go home. Instead he went to a janitor’s closet and found a bucket. He stomped outside and cursed himself with each step. He walked right past Merlin and went to the pond. He returned and dumped the bucket of water over the monster’s head. He went back and gathered up another bucketful. This time when he returned he put his handkerchief in the water and looked at Merlin.

Merlin was staring back at him in shock. “Why?”

“Because I abhor torture,” Harry said. “Because you have every reason to make sure we die on missions, so you can feed, so you can be rid of us, and I come home every time I think I am dead in a corner.” Harry picked up Merlin’s hand and washed it as well as he could with the cloth and pond water. He could see it restoring colour to Merlin’s skin. He did the other hand and then gave the cloth to Merlin, who wiped his face and neck.

“I can’t free you,” Harry said.

“Can’t or won’t?” Merlin asked. He took off his shirt and poured the water over himself. 

Harry fetched another bucket. “I honestly can’t say which it is,” he admitted. He watched Merlin, who looked better. And when Merlin smiled this time, it looked properly menacing and evil. Harry wasn’t pleased by that.

They sat on the ground and stared at each other.

“You aren’t going to eat me,” Harry said.

Merlin tilted his head and gazed at Harry. “No. I am not,” he agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter will be going canon divergent after this chapter.

Arthur walked into Merlin’s office. “Hungry?” he asked.

Merlin knew to be wary when Arthur smiled like that. “Always,” Merlin said after a moment. “But that is my nature. You fed me a year ago, I can go a while yet.”

“You are looking remarkably perky these days,” Arthur agreed. “Finally debase yourself to eating rabbits that cross near the estate?”

Merlin smiled at him, not bothering to hide his true teeth. “Something like that.”

Arthur stared at him. “If you weren’t useful, I would destroy you.”

“Ye would find it very hard to do so,” Merlin growled.

Arthur pulled a silver chain out of his pocket and wrapped it around his fingers and squeezed. Merlin choked as the invisible chain around his neck tightened. There was no air to pull in as Arthur tightened the chain on his fingers again and again. “Not so difficult Merlin,” he said. “Mind yourself.”

“I am going to enjoy the day you die,” Merlin said.

“Why? There will just be another after me. Prep Lancelot for his mission, it looks complex. Send Bedievere and Tristan along as well.”

“Yes, Sir,” Merlin rasped and then gasped as Arthur let the chain go. 

“Also, I have noticed that you seem to tolerate Galahad’s presence, separate yourself,” Arthur ordered. He didn’t wait for a response, sure Merlin would follow the order, sure that he had the monster completely cowed.

Merlin left his office and walked to his bedroom. He tapped a button on his watch which interfered with the cameras he knew Arthur had in his room, and would not show his presence. He went to his wardrobe and removed the false bottom. He pulled out a box and scanned his palm print. He smiled as he looked at all the gifts Harry had brought him over the last several years. Merlin ghosted a finger over each bottle before picking one.

_ Lake Superior _

He opened it up and breathed in the water, each body of water, from a small loch to the oceans had a different scent and feel and Harry had been slowly collecting them, bringing them to Merlin to experience.

If Merlin couldn’t go to the water, Harry would bring it to him.

Merlin didn’t like humans.

But he liked Harry.

It was very unsettling. But then so was the man. He carefully put away the water and the box and left to return to his work. Delicate missions had to be dealt with.

*************************

Harry returned successful from his mission and with minimal bruising and his suit intact. Andrew was rather in shock. He went and did his various reports and then went to find Merlin.

Merlin was working furiously and Harry could tell that things were bad. Something was going very wrong. Harry leaned quietly against the wall ready to help if needed. Merlin was typing, his fingers a blur, and his voice was thick on the comms.  Harry was able to piece it together. A large mission, and it looked increasingly like one of the agents wasn’t going to get out. He saw Merlin’s fingers slip on his keyboard and wondered how long the man had been at it.

He pulled the small bottle out of his hand and looked at the label he had written in careful copperplate  _ Lake Disappointment _ . He poured some on his fingers and went over and rubbed Merlin’s neck. He pressed the water into Merlin’s skin, drizzled some on his head.

Merlin sighed and leaned into Harry’s touch for just a moment. He then gave a small nod and Harry stepped back. Merlin worked furiously but in the end, Tristan and Bedievere escaped thanks to the sacrifice of Lancelot.

An hour later Merlin was able to shut his systems down. “I need to report to Arthur,” he said.

“Is today a day you can shower?” Harry asked, surprised at the devastation on the man’s face.

“Nae,” Merlin said.

“In the dark, our usual spot?” 

“It is my spot,” Merlin grumbled for form’s sake. “I allow you to join me. But yes.”

Harry went to the range and got in some practice, and found a pot of soup in the kitchen. He ate with a couple other agents and they sat together in their grief that one of them had fallen. Arthur would do the formal toast tomorrow. He went to the library and read until the moon was high before walking out to their spot.

He stumbled a little when he saw Merlin sitting there shirtless. His shoulders were pale and beautiful. Harry didn’t look just picked up the bucket and walked to the pond. The first bucket was as always poured over Merlin’s head and Harry went for a second one. When he returned Merlin was kneeling up. Water drops were sliding down his rather spectacular chest and Harry felt all the spit in his mouth dry up.

Harry held out the bucket and Merlin took it and just set it aside. “Merlin?” he was confused.

Merlin reached out and undid Harry’s belt.

Harry was really confused as Merlin slid it slowly through the loops and then coiled it around his hand. “I won’t hit you with that, I am not going to punish you for Lancelot’s death. You tried to bring him home.” Harry was in earnest. Merlin still terrified him a great deal, but he doubted he could ever hurt the man. The monster. Whatever Merlin was.

Merlin shook his head and put the belt down and with the same, slow, deliberation undid the button and unzipped the trousers. He leaned forward and nuzzled.

Harry gasped at the touch, at the visual of Merlin on his knees for him. He could feel himself getting hard. “Merlin, I don’t understand.”

“I need the feel of flesh on my tongue,” Merlin whispered.

Harry froze and the growing erection died. “I would really prefer you not bite off my dick.”

“Harry,” Merlin looked up at him. “Please, I need the feel of flesh on my tongue. I swear to the elders, the fae, and the devil that I’ll nae bite you.”

“Not the most comforting promise,” Harry said. He touched Merlin’s head and after a moment nodded. The touch of Merlin’s long fingers as he pulled Harry’s cock through the hole in his pants was devastating. His touched burned in how chill the tips of his fingers were, but the palm was warmer as he wrapped the hand around Harry’s length. Harry sighed at the feeling. Merlin tugged a little too tight and Harry put his hand over top and adjusted the grip. 

Merlin kept his hand moving until Harry was hard and then slid both hands around Harry’s hips. He nuzzled again and Harry moaned. He thought he heard Merlin whisper thank you, but dismissed it as his imagination.

“Fucking hell,” Harry shouted as he felt Merlin’s mouth kiss the tip of his cock. “Remember, please be mindful of your real teeth?” he begged.

Merlin didn’t respond he was too busy sinking his mouth down on Harry’s dick. He went down most of the way and just stopped. It was good, so hot and wet, and Harry wanted to start thrusting. But Merlin wasn’t doing anything. Not sucking, not moving his tongue, or pulling back. 

“Merlin?” Harry asked after another couple minutes of Merlin’s stillness. “Ummm...you do know what is supposed to happen right? You have done this before, haven’t you?” 

Merlin pinched his hip hard and pulled off. The cold against his wet dick was unpleasant. “I know what is to happen, and no I have nae done it before. But I told ye -”

“You wanted flesh on your tongue,” Harry said, understanding. “Okay, shh, I get it.”

Merlin looked up at him. “My friend,” he said, like the words were beyond comprehension.

They made Harry ache. Merlin wrapped his lips around Harry again and they stayed like that for some time, Harry wasn’t sure how long. His hand on Merlin’s head, his cock in the man’s mouth. He stayed half hard because of the warmth and the occasional brush of Merlin’s tongue, but just let the quartermaster get whatever it is he needed.

It must have been about 30 minutes before Merlin pulled off. “Thank ye, Harry.” 

“You are welcome,” Harry said. He wondered if he should put his dick away. This was all very awkward.

Merlin grinned at him and Harry could see the true teeth. He had no problems admitting that he shouted in terror and pleasure when Merlin started to suck his cock hard. Harry was fully erect quickly enough and though it wasn’t the best blow job ever, it was from Merlin, someone ancient and strong, on his knees for Harry. He grabbed Merlin’s head and moved him quicker.

Merlin let him without a single graze of teeth.

It wasn’t long before he came down Merlin’s throat. While he tried to catch his breath, Merlin tucked him back into his pants and let go and pulled the bucket over and dipped his hands into it.

Harry sat on the ground beside him and helped him pour the water on his skin. “Do you need?” he asked softly.

“Nae,” Merlin responded. 

Harry nodded, trusting him at his word.

The bucket was emptied and they sat together and stared at the pond.

“Your come is more satisfying than fingers, less than a thigh,” Merlin said.

Harry threw up in his mouth a little.

“I would like to suck your cock again, it is like having an appetizer,” Merlin continued.

Harry shuddered a little. “We shall see,” he said. He couldn’t come up with any other response.

Merlin smiled at him, and Harry had no idea what it said about him that he sometimes found seeing Merlin’s real teeth more comforting than his mortal visage.

“Choose your candidate carefully, because if they fail I will eat them,” Merlin said. “Either choose someone the world will be happy to lose, or someone strong enough to win.”

Harry stared at the water and nodded. He was picking a man to die, screaming in the water, organs ripped out, to feed a monster that he had feelings for, one’s he could not name.

It was a daunting task.

************************

“What is this, Galahad?” Arthur asked. “This man is not a gentleman.”

“He is in deed, if not in birth,” Harry countered. “And besides, too many of a certain class going missing all at once will be more noticeable these days than before,” he bluffed.

Arthur bought it. “A good point. Some riff raff candidates mixed in, there are worse ideas. Merlin will enjoy eating him. Very well, I accept your choice of this marine, Lee Unwin, for the Lancelot trials.”

Harry nodded and walked out. He made a tough call, but a bottom line, no one would miss a council bred marine, not really, but the man also had an impressive file. He had a chance to make it. It was the best that Harry could come up with.

The cards were dealt and it was time to see how the hand played out.


	7. Chapter 7

“You look…” Harry stared at Merlin. “This is what you look like when?”

“When I am well fed, aye,” Merlin said. He was practically glowing. “I am actually overfull, usually the candidates spread themselves out a little more. This is a rather pathetic lot.”

“Lee is still alive,” Harry said.

“He is,” Merlin agreed. He smiled at Harry. “I have a break. Would ye like me to suck your cock again?” 

Harry thought he saw a bit of flesh stuck in Merlin’s true teeth. “No,” he said firmly.

“As you like,” Merlin turned to his computer. “Lee was a bit naughty though.” He was watching the candidates in their quarters. Five were already gone.

“How naughty, enough to be removed?” Harry was worried. He still didn’t know if he could face Merlin if the man ate Lee, but he realized he didn’t know what to do with a life that didn’t, to a certain extent, revolve around the monster.

“Nae. He impressed me. He managed to keep a photo of his wife and child on him, when all the others had all personal items removed. Whether I missed it in the strip down, or he managed to get it after, he has a tiny piece that he shouldn’t and that impresses me. You brought me an interesting candidate.”

“I...I don’t want you to eat him,” Harry whispered.

“Then ye best hope he wins, Harry,” Merlin said briskly. He shut the video off and turned to look at Harry. “Would you like to know what people taste like? What it feels like to eat them?”

“No, God no,” Harry paled at the thought. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what, Harry?” Merlin asked. 

“Remind me that you are a monster? I am not likely to forget,” Harry’s voice was strained.

“Because I worry ye will. You are an affectionate man, Harry, with a large heart. And forgetting what I am, will be to your detriment,” Merlin explained. He stood up and went closer to Harry. “Ye are the only human I like Harry, the only one I have ever met that I didn’t think would be better in my belly than alive.” He leaned into Harry. “And that thought should terrify you more than that pool in the basement the failed candidates are taken to.”

Harry shuddered a little. Merlin was close enough they could both feel that Harry had also gotten hard.

“I’ll ask again, would ye like another blow job? I think I have the hang of it down. Plus I watched some pornography. Rather dreadful, but I think it will have helped with technique. But you will not come on my face or back or any such thing. I want to swallow every drop.”

“I thought you were having enough meals right now,” Harry whispered. He despised how he sunk into Merlin, how he yearned for more.

“Turns out I was wrong, your come is more satisfying than their organs. They sustain me, I even enjoy it well enough. But your spend, Harry, it delights me. It is more on par with the taste of a child’s flesh.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Ye are still hard,” Merlin commented. “Let me lick you up and swallow around ye. I read about deep throating. Let’s go to my room and try that.”

“Will you take your shirt off again?” Harry asked.

“You like my chest?” Merlin smiled a bit.

“I do.”

“I’ll strip down as far as ye like, Harry,” Merlin promised. He kissed Harry’s neck. “Would ye like kisses this time?”

“I would,” Harry felt he was admitting something so incredibly weak.

Merlin kissed his mouth. “Come along, little lamb.”

Harry followed Merlin to his quarters and Merlin stripped them both down and it was even better this time. Merlin did manage to deep throat but made sure Harry came on his tongue and he let it roll around in his mouth, savouring the taste before he swallowed.

“Would you like me to return the favour?” Harry asked again. He looked and saw that Merlin was hard.

“Not this time,” Merlin said. “Next time, I wish to fuck you that seems interesting.”

Harry lay on the bed and had no real response. Merlin was next to him and after how good that had felt, those words felt too clinical. Harry wondered what he was doing here with such a creature. He felt so cold.

Merlin threaded their fingers together. “I read some things. I don’t like the term fuck buddy. Ye are never a ‘buddy,’ but friends with benefits feels an adequate term,” he said thoughtfully.

Harry all of a sudden felt much warmer.

********************************

“Fucking idiots,” Merlin muttered. He was watching the candidates get ready to jump out of the plane. They were already down to five. This had been the fastest training in the years he had been with the Kingsman. The decades. His money was on Lee and James for the last two.

What he hadn’t told Harry was that he didn’t especially want to eat Lee. Not for the man himself, he looked well fit and smelled great - his heart would be sweet. No, but he was Harry’s and Merlin found himself not wanting to upset Harry. He kept reminding Harry that he was a monster, just as much for his own needs, as Harry's.  Merlin knew King would find a way to hurt Harry, if Lee lost and Merlin didn’t follow the rules. The best he could promise to himself was to break Lee’s neck before he ate. Offer this small mercy, and he couldn’t even tell Harry this, in case King were to find out.

The plane was getting to altitude and he told them the requirements of the drop. He watched them all jump. He took a sip of coffee. As far as he was concerned humanity had done about five things right. Coffee was one of them.

Not under the most extreme torture would he admit that Harry was on that list.

Merlin was about to make the announcement of the ‘missing’ parachute when he phone rang.

“King,” he said. It was really the only person who could be expected to call.

“Hullo?” 

It was a little boy’s voice. 

“Son, I think ye dialed a wrong number. Hang up,” Merlin said.

“Are you Merlin? Da said call Merlin, he sounds grumpy and like Old MacGregor done the row, call him when there is a problem.”

Merlin paused and ignored the candidates. “And what is your name?”

“Eggsy. Gary Unwin, but I like Eggsy. Da picked that nickname out for me,” there was a giggle.

Lee, fucking Lee Unwin finding ways to break rules that shouldn’t be able to be broken. Merlin was both pissed and impressed.

“And do ye have a problem lad?”

“Mama fell and I can’t get her to wake up,” Eggsy whispered. “I even used an outside voice, shouted and she didn’t get up.”

Shit. Merlin thought quickly. “Boy, I am sending help. When they knock at the door ask them their names. They will be Grace and Raj, okay? They will say this sentence:  _ We’re late for a very important date _ . Then you can let them in. They will help ye.”

“Not you?”

“I’m busy looking after your father, and the other man I trust is rather busy at the moment.” Harry was down on the south side, looking into a new drug on the market that was killing people.

“Okay, bye!” Eggsy hung up.

Merlin realized that one candidate missed the target, the other four made it. He had a couple minutes at most. He ran down to the labs and found Grace and Raj, the most unflappable problem solvers he had. He gave them orders and added, “Bring the boy back with ye.” They nodded, packed a couple bags and hurried out.

Merlin went to deal with the candidates. At the moment he didn’t tell Lee anything. He hoped there was nothing to tell.

***************************

“You look funny,” Eggsy said. He put another chip in his mouth as he sat on top of Merlin’s desk.

“Do I now?” Merlin was typing furiously, helping Percival co-ordinate his extraction.

“Yup, you’re a monster,”  Eggsy slurped his milk. “I can tell.”

“How can ye tell?” Merlin spared him a glance.

“Well, I can see the magic around you. It shimmers,” Eggsy shrugged. “Can’t everyone see it?”

“Nae, only a few ever have. Usually children. One time a child noticed just a little too late and had to cut off his own hand to escape me,” Merlin smiled at Eggsy and knew the boy could see his real teeth. “So maybe you want to be careful not to spill that fish and chips there.”

Eggsy just giggled. “Mama hated that Da would read me spooky stories, but I like them.”

“I am no story, boy.” Merlin put a finger to his lips and opened the comms. He lead Percival and Eggsy was quiet as a mouse. He finished and turned to the boy. “Now then what to do with ye.”

“I want Mama,” Eggsy said.

Merlin wondered what he was feeling, he scratched at his heart. It seemed to ache for the child. “That I cannae provide.”

“Because she didn’t wake up when your people poked at her,” Eggsy started tearing a chip apart.

“Aye,” Merlin agreed. Grace guessed that Michelle had fallen in the shower, just a freak accident, a slip and gone. It would have been quick.

“Can I have Da, then? He’s here isn’t he?”

“He is, but he is doing a pretty big test, and ye cannae interrupt. Ye shouldn’t even be here, my boss will be rather nasty about it,” Merlin explained. He hummed a little and thought. “We cannae keep ye here, but Harry will be back in a couple hours and you can go home with him until your Da finishes all his tests. Harry will be a good babysitter. And he is friends with your father.” That was a stretch but it would do.

Eggsy sniffled a little. “I’m sad,” he said.

“I would imagine ye would be,” Merlin agreed. “I can let you play on my computer, or we can go to the library.”

“Let me ride you like a pony,” Eggsy said.

Merlin blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“You're magic, you are a horse. I never ridden a horse. Can I ride you? Please?” Eggsy asked.

“I…” Merlin was completely nonplussed. “I am trapped by a spell. I cannae turn into my horse form outside a certain room and with permission, release, from my boss.”

“So pretend,” Eggsy said.

Merlin looked at him. “Ye are a strange boy.”

“You are a strange monster,” Eggsy replied.

“I have certainly become one. I doubt the other monsters would even want to talk to me anymore,” Merlin said thoughtfully and then slid his chair back and sank to the ground.

*******************************

Harry was whistling as he went down the hall. His mission had lead to a few more avenues to explore and he was informed Lee passed his jump. He was headed to Merlin’s office when he heard a giggle.

A child’s giggle. 

That was out of place.

Harry paled. No child should be at the estate. And definitely should not be near Merlin. He ran and turned the corner and saw a boy on Merlin’s back and Merlin was crawling around on the ground and neighing and bucking.

The child was giggling and toppled over and Merlin turned and began to push his face to the boy’s stomach.

“No!” Harry shouted. He ran and kicked Merlin hard away from the boy and snatched the boy up. He practically snarled and held the child with one hand, and pulled a gun out with the other. “Stay away, Merlin.”

Merlin stayed on the ground but his glare was like ice, a look Harry hadn’t seen in years.

“Why did you kick my pony?” Eggsy asked. “He was making me not sad.”

“You were in danger,” Harry said softly. “I need to get you out of here.”

“Because he’s a monster?” Eggsy asked. “He pinkie swore not to be mean to me. Even a monster can’t break a pinkie promise.”

Harry paused. “I’m sorry?”

“Harry, this is Eggsy Unwin. Eggsy, this is the Harry I told you about.”

“He’s mean, he ruined our fun. I don’t want to go with him. I want to stay with you,” Eggsy fought and Harry unused to the wiggles of children let him go. Eggsy ran and hugged Merlin on the ground. “He’s smelly.”

“It’s a new aftershave, trust me it is better than the last.” Merlin pat Eggsy’s back. “Ye know why ye cannae stay with me. Now you wait here, while Harry and I have a quick talk.”

Merlin put Eggsy in his chair and pulled up Pac Man on his computer. “Play that,” he said and he grabbed Harry’s arm and dragged him out into the hall. Once they were well away from Eggsy, Merlin slammed Harry into the wall. “What the fuck, Harry?”

“You were going to eat him,” Harry said.

“I cannae feed outside the chamber,” Merlin snarled.

“I’ve seen your real teeth outside of there,” he protested.

“That doesn’t mean that I can use them,” Merlin said. “Just because ye see through the magic doesn’t mean I am free.”

“You miss eating children, that instinct could override the magic controlling you,” Harry said, voice stiff.

“Don’t ye mean trapping me?” Merlin said, voice terrifyingly calm. “Because to say it is controlling me, that almost sounds like ye think me being trapped is a good thing, Harry.”

Harry looked dead into his eyes. “You are the one who always reminds me to not forget that you are a monster.” Harry held his gaze. “If you weren’t bound, you would have eaten that boy in a second.”

Merlin looked at him. “That is Lee’s son, Lee’s wife slipped in the shower and died. The boy called us, and I told him that he couldn’t be with his Da yet, but that when you returned, you were a good man, who would keep him safe.”

“And I did,” Harry said stoutly.

Merlin stepped away. “I wouldn’t have eaten him.”

“Because you can’t,” Harry dismissed. 

Merlin shook his head. “Take the boy home, I have work.”

Harry looked at Merlin. “You are a monster,” he said. “You can’t be mad that I take you at your word.”

“No. Of course not,” Merlin agreed. He smiled coldly. “Quite right. Agent Galahad, take the child home, until the trials are done, and then we’ll see what’s what. Good day.” Merlin stalked off down the hall.

Harry went back to the office and collected the boy, who seemed to hate him. They were quiet the whole way home. Eventually Harry gave up trying to engage, gave the boy a vest to sleep in and showed him the guest room. He went to the office and poured a drink.

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” Eggsy said from the door. Harry’s vest was huge on him, almost to the floor.

“He would have, if he could have,” Harry said. “You don’t understand.”

“Yes I do. He promised me. He whispered so his mean boss couldn’t hear, that he would never ever hurt me, because,” Eggsy bit his lip.

“Because why?” Harry asked curious.

“Because he said it would make you sad, and no meal, no matter how tasty, would ever be worth making his best friend sad.”

“Oh,” Harry was nonplussed.

“You should say sorry,” Eggsy nodded. “For kicking him and saying mean words. People can be monsters too you know.”

“I know,” Harry agreed. “Go to bed Eggsy, we’ll see about getting you more clothes in the morning.”

Eggsy ran over and gave Harry a small hug and went to his room.

Harry had to pour himself another drink.

**********************

Lee hugged his son tight, and they were both crying. Harry gave them the space they needed to talk and mourn. It was down to Lee and James and it was their dog test in the morning.

Merlin had refused to talk to Harry at all in the last 10 days as the candidates went down to twos. And when he congratulated them on being the final two, he would not even look at Harry.

Harry felt incredibly alone.

He sat in his office and wondered what to do.

Hours later there was a knock at the door. “Arthur,” Harry said surprised.

“Lee is here?” Chester asked.

“He is, he is just putting -” Harry cut himself off.

“His boy down?” Chester smiled a little. “I know all about it, Merlin’s people reported it to me. I have debated removing Lee from the trials for all his infractions, but Merlin was persuasive that his stealth would be an asset and it is irrelevant now.”

“Sir?”

“Call your candidate down,” Chester said and settled into Harry’s living room. 

Harry went up and collected Lee. They both approached Chester carefully.

“Congratulations Lancelot,” Chester said. “Welcome to the Kingsman.”

“I don’t understand sir, there was supposed to be another test,” Lee said.

“There was, but James is dead,” Chester said bluntly. “His sponsor took him out to dinner and a heretofore unknown allergy incident occurred. First responders were too late to help him and James passed. You by default are welcomed to the table,” Chester held out his hand and Lee shook it stunned. “See to your family business. Take two weeks to sort it all out. Then you will begin your new job. Good night,” Chester let himself out.

Harry and Lee just stared at each other. “James didn’t have any allergies, Harry.”

Harry shook his head. “Congratulations, Lee. I look forward to working with you.”

“Harry -”

“Don’t,” Harry warned. “You need to not think what you are thinking. Ever again. Do you understand me?”

Lee looked ready to protest but Harry glanced up at the ceiling, to where Eggsy would be sleeping. Lee shut his mouth and nodded.

******************************

Merlin returned the ring quietly to the labs with a few suggestions on how to improve the poison delivery system.

They thought he had tested it one of the rabbits that overrun the estate.

He hoped that Chester would think the same.

Merlin went to his room and poured all the water samples Harry had brought him down the sink. He arranged the delivery of the empty bottles to Harry’s house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter moves several years into the future to when eggsy is 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a lot going on. warning for a one sentence hint at suicidal thought.

Harry cursed as he walked into his house. “Eggsy,” he shouted. He heard the thumb of steps and wished the boy would realize you didn’t need to run in the house. Or jump down half the stairs.

“Hey, Haz, what’s up?” Eggsy grinned at him.

Harry sighed. “Harry, Eggsy, that is an absurd name, and I will not answer to it.” He pointed. “I’ve told you a million times to put your shoes and bag away.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes but put the stuff away.

Harry smiled pleased. “Now then, tea? We’ll go over your homework for the weekend.”

Eggsy groaned. “Come on, mate, it’s Friday night. It isn’t due until Monday, why can’t I ignore it?”

“You have a meet tomorrow and will want time to hang out with your friends. If you get it done tonight the rest of the weekend is free.” Harry put the kettle on. “Now maths?”

“Yeah, and some poems for English,” he answered. He pulled out his books and grumbled for show but settled into the work. He smiled when some cookies appeared in front of him. “Thanks, Harry.”

Harry ran a hand over his hair. “Of course, dear boy.” He hummed a little and began to prepare dinner, helping Eggsy when Eggsy asked.

“Is Dad going to be back in time for my meet?” Eggsy asked casually.

“No, not likely,” Harry said. “I’m sure he is sorry. And you have me,” he smiled over his shoulder.

“Merlin isn’t coming either,” Eggsy said sadly.

Harry froze a little. “Why would he?” he asked. He watched water drip into the sink.

Eggsy was very quiet.

“Eggsy?” Harry came and sat down at the table. “Is there something you want to share?”

Eggsy quickly shook his head and paid more attention to his maths homework than he ever had before. Harry sipped his tea and waited the boy out. He lasted longer than he used to but a 13 year old was no match for an agent. 

“We talk,” Eggsy said finally.

“When?”

“On the phone, when I go to the gym at the estate,” Eggsy shrugged. “Just whenever. I dunno.”

“Why?” was Harry’s next question.

“Because,” Eggsy’s voice was low.

Harry was again patient. Though he didn’t expect the explosion that happened.

“Because you stopped being his friend, for a stupid reason,” Eggsy said. “Because you and Dad became you and Dad and you left him and have made sure not to notice how lonely he is. Jesus Harry, he is in pain all the time.”

Harry’s gaze sharpened. “Watch your tone, young man.”

“You aren’t actually my dad, Harry. You’re just the one fucking him.”

Harry reared back in shock. Eggsy packed up his books and stormed up to his room. Harry sat there and couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands. He and Lee had thought they had been careful. That they projected roommates to Eggsy, that someone was always there for Eggsy. Lee and Harry didn’t even share a bedroom. But Eggsy was a clever boy and a young teen was bound to notice both more and less than you would like. And also have a few secrets of his own. Like a friendship with Merlin.

He was sure that Eggsy was exaggerating though, Harry talked to Merlin about work enough that he would have seen the monster was in pain. He would have. He pushed himself up and went back to cooking dinner. Eggsy needed to eat. Harry managed three bites and moved the rest around on his plate.

 

**************************

Merlin smiled when Eggsy strode into the room, his gymnastics trophy in hand. “Ye had a poor dismount off the rings, lad,” he said.

“How would you know? You didn’t come, you never come,” Eggsy said. He put the trophy down and sat in his chair. Eggsy frankly thought most of the Kingsman agents were morons. And he included his dad and Harry in that. None of them paid any mind to the small desk that joined the room with its own computer and chair. Merlin had a hidden exit door and the hallway monitored so that Eggsy could happily work with him but disappear if anyone was coming. Eggsy turned on the computer and entered his password but was denied access. He looked over at Merlin who was smirking a little.

“Right then, Kel, let’s see what you got,” Eggsy said and started typing in some guesses. “And next time consider coming to my meet instead of hacking cameras like a creeper.”

Merlin smiled at the nickname Eggsy had given him two years ago. He had asked what Merlin’s real name was and Merlin explained he didn’t have one, or at least one that could be pronounced by a human tongue. Eggsy had long figured out what Merlin was so he called the kelpie, Kel, when they were alone. It pleased Merlin and added some warmth to what had been very cold years.

It took Eggsy 45 minutes to crack it. “Damn,” he said.

“Damn is right, ye should have had that in 38,” Merlin replied. “A second place and shoddy hacking, tsk, tsk. What shall I do with ye?”

“If they ever take my tonsils out, you can have them,” Eggsy said.

Merlin laughed. “A fair deal,” he said. He pointed to Eggsy’s computer. “Practice your coding.”

They were quiet both happily typing away. “I got mad at Harry because of you,” Eggsy said.

“Ye didn’t have to, he and I had our time, years ago,” Merlin said calmly. “Humanity is a blink to me.”

“It was what, a decade of friendship?” 

“And more than half that since then.”

Eggsy pulled out a bottle of water from his bag and quickly checked their cameras that no one was coming. He passed it to Merlin. “He’s being skint again isn’t he?”

“I displeased him,” Merlin said with a shrug. He wet a cloth and wiped the water over his head and neck. It felt good and the shadows were less under his eyes.

“He’s being an arse to you,” Eggsy said.

“They all are around now,” Merlin explained.

“Wot you mean?” Eggsy rolled his chair over and helped Merlin pour some water down his back.

“He had a minor heart attack, not surprising with the way Chester carries stress,” Merlin said. They ran out of water. Eggsy never risked bringing too much, Chester couldn’t think Merlin looked too good. “But he felt his own mortality. All Arthurs do at some point. And they come to me thinking I can change it. That my magics can help prolong their life, or that I am some sort of vempir,” Merlin spat the word.

“A wha?”

“Vampire, Eggsy, those pathetic creatures,” he sneered.

“Shit, vampires are real?”

“Not like the movies. Not modern ones,” Merlin said. “The original Nosferatu is most accurate. They are so very weak. Not many are left.”

Eggsy looked at him, eager to learn. “What is out there, Kel?”

“Less and less every year,” Merlin looked past Eggsy, like he was seeing the whole world. “A few of my kin, vempir, fey, changlings, 3 unicorns are left. We will all mourn when they die,” he said.

“But they are like the essence of good, and well you are a monster,” Eggsy said.

“What do I look like when not bound, Eggsy?”

“A grey weird thing...or a horse,” he answered.

“Where do ye think the equine aspect comes from? A demon impregnated a unicorn once and thus we were created.” Merlin looked at Eggsy. “The world when the last unicorn dies, will lose something. It will be interesting how that manifests. Until then we all give a small bit of our power to keep them safe.” He smiled. “Even me, bound as I am. I gave my hair.”

Eggsy laughed.

Merlin’s computer beeped and Eggsy slid back over to his station. Merlin spoke into his comms and Eggsy heard his father’s voice. They spoke back and forth and then Merlin signed off.

“Does it bother you?” Eggsy asked. “Dad and Harry?”

“I pay no attention to the affairs of humans,” Merlin said after a moment.

“That’s bollocks and you know it. You pay attention to Harry. I’ve seen what you do for him,” Eggsy whispered. “I saw the scars last year.”

Merlin looked at him and allowed some of his true face to show. Eggsy didn’t look away. Merlin nodded after a time. “My power is bound to the Kingsman, to Arthur,” he said slowly, cautiously. “But...they do not own my power, the water does. And what is blood but the water of life? It gave me a small burst of energy that I could channel. I was able to change a setting in his watch to a laser.”

“How much did that take out of you?” Eggsy asked in awe. 

“More than it would have had I been feeding or having water regularly. But it brought him home.” Merlin gave him a warning look, “No one can ever know, if Chester were to learn that I did that, he would think I can do more for him than I can. He would likely grow...more troubling for me.”

“Would you do that for anyone?” Eggsy was curious. “Can you even do something like that again?”

“It was years of storing a little of my power in my heart. I did it to one day kill Chester. And I burned it away on Harry. If I had the power again, there are only two people I would do it for Eggsy. I’m sorry,” he said.

“You won’t save my dad?”

“Not like that,” Merlin agreed. “I will do my best to bring him back to you and Harry but no, he would not be saved by carving away a piece of myself. He is an interesting enough human, but not that interesting.”

Eggsy wrapped his arms around himself. “Okay,” he said finally.

“Are ye done with me now Eggsy?” Merlin asked curious.

Eggsy got that stubborn look on his face. “Nah, I’m good here.”

“Well, ye should at least be done for now, Harry is coming in,” Merlin pointed at the screen. “Off to the gym or library.”

“Merlin do you love Harry?” Eggsy asked.

Merlin watched the screen where Harry sat impatiently on the train. “Love is not for my kind Eggsy. I convinced him I am a monster, and thus a monster I will ever be.”

Eggsy gave his cheek a quick kiss. “Kel, you are a monster, but you ain’t monstrous.” He hurried away before Harry could arrive.

 

Harry stalked into Merlin’s office. “Merlin, we need to discuss something.”

“Of, course, Galahad. Your mission is delayed though. Rainy season in Argentina. You’ll have a few days with Lancelot before ye head out. Do you still wish to go over parameters?” Merlin turned in his chair and looked at Harry.

Harry was about to say something and then noticed Eggsy’s trophy on the other desk in the room. He had noticed when the new equipment arrived, of course he had, but he just figured the setup served a secondary purpose for their quartermaster.

But the chair he realized was the same that Eggsy had in his room. He tapped the keyboard and a wallpaper of comic books came up. “This is Eggsy’s station,” he said surprised.

“I’m busy, Galahad,” Merlin dismissed him.

Harry moved closer ready to just rip into Merlin and saw the edge of a water bottle on the ground, hidden under Merlin’s desk.

And for the first time in years he truly looked at Merlin.

Harry felt sick. Eggsy had been right. And if this is how he looked after getting some water... “How long are you between water?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He wouldn’t look at Harry. “Pride is a bitch though, shouldn’t have destroyed your gifts to me, they would have made the last few years easier.” He typed some nonsense, “Your lover will be home soon, go prepare something romantic.”

“Merlin -”

“Chester makes sure I have enough to perform my job. Water once a week, a meal every 14 months. And none of ye have died so everything’s fine isn’t, Harry?”

“We’ve come closer than we used to,” Harry said.

“Eggsy will be in the gym,” Merlin replied.

“I don’t want him -” Harry began.

At this Merlin turned and Harry had grown so unused to his real face that he flinched away from the teeth.

“Nae,” Merlin snarled. “Ye removed yourself from my life. In doing so ye gave Chester room to fucking torture me, because he knew no one would care. And look he was right. Would ye even have noticed how I’ve been looking if Eggsy hadn’t pointed it out? I watched ye get everything ye have ever wanted and I am happy for ye, but every time ye grew happier, somehow that meant something was stripped from me. I have very little left Harry. At this point I don’t even want to eat Chester anymore. Some days I hope he just goes far enough that -” Merlin left the sentence unfinished. “Not quite a hundred years I have been chained to this room. Maybe 4 people have given a damn about me, beyond my magic. You took one away already, will ye take the other away?”

“He’s too young to learn what we do,” Harry protested. “He’s a child.”

“He’s a child who has watched his father pull a bullet out of his ‘roommate’, he is a child who has an eager mind, and thinks the two of ye are heroes. If I hadn’t plonked him in front of that computer when he was 10, all his training would be in preparation to sit at the table. Working for me, has shown him what you do, and is maybe keeping him from throwing his life away.”

“You think we throw our life away by saving the world?”

“One, this is not a world worth saving, and two, do you really want that boy eventually sitting at the table?”

Harry opened his mouth ready to fight but then was silent. “No. No I never want him to sit at the table.”

“Then let me keep training him.”

Harry nodded and went to the door. “I can speak to Chester,” he said.

“And say what? What would ye say Harry that wouldn’t have him tighten his bindings on me even more? What words would put compassion in his heart for one such as me?”

Harry couldn’t answer that and after a moment left Merlin alone.

 

******************************

Eggsy was at the estate. His dad and Harry were having their ‘reunion’ and they weren’t as quiet as they thought. Like those separate rooms mattered. Like Eggsy hadn’t figured them out when he was nine. So he told them he was meeting some friends and went to the estate. He hadn’t poked around in a while.

Eggsy was good at hiding. The best ever. Even Merlin sometimes missed him. And there were so many nooks and crannies around the estate that he got to overhear lots of interesting things. Lots of boring things too.

Merlin encouraged his curiosity generally, but made sure to tell Eggsy some places were off limits. When he was a kid he listened. But he was 13 and figured he could handle whatever it was that Merlin thought he couldn’t.

And that was all in the basement. Eggsy knew where every single camera in the estate was and he knew how to avoid each one. He slid through the halls and opened doors. Most were storage rooms, old files, old gear. Nothing to exciting. He found a black door at the end of a hall and went in. He looked in all the usual spots but there weren’t any cameras in there.

But there was a pool. Oh, he realized. This is where Merlin ate. It was murky water, but that could have just been the pool walls which were made of rock. There were even some reeds and other water plant life. It must give Merlin an extra boost if it is more natural. There were blood stains on the ground. Eggsy traced a finger over them. He heard a thump, and a squeak like something was being dragged and realized someone was coming. Shit. It could only be King. He looked around but the room was empty other than the pool. There was no other door. Eggsy had one option. He dove into the pool. He grabbed one of the reeds and broke the ends off. It had worked in the animated Robin Hood movie, god he hoped it worked here. 

It did. Barely, but it did. He was short of breath, it wasn’t pulling enough into his lungs but he was breathing underwater, so to speak. He looked up and couldn’t see anything but the ceiling. He looked around in the water and realized how deep the pool was that it extended much wider under the floor of the room, and he couldn’t even see the bottom. Another time he would want to explore but he wanted to stay near the surface. He heard the door open and voices but they were muffled by the water. It could really only be a couple people though. Eggsy only put the pieces all together when Merlin slid into the water. Merlin dived low and his human form just shimmered away. Eggsy could see a burn ring around his neck, and almost a thin rope of light coming from it. It branched into two, one going somewhere in the room and the other up and what was out onto the grounds. To Chester and to where the magic bound Merlin to the estate he guessed. He tried to watch Merlin but he lost sight of him in the water until he came back up. And the weird sunken, long look of him slowly became equine. Eggsy had seen hints of it, in dreams, when Merlin was at his lowest. But this?

To see it fully - he was proper terrified, and in awe. The horse climbed out of the water and oh fuck, that meant food was coming in soon. Shit, shit, shit. Eggsy would have hyperventilated but he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. It was quiet and still and then a huge splash and the horse pulled a woman into the water. She saw Eggsy and screamed and reached out but Eggsy shook his head. He couldn’t save her. 

Eggsy watched as the monsters claws ripped open her stomach and his long teeth buried into the guts that poured out and he dragged her down where Eggsy couldn’t see. Eggsy learned you could cry underwater. He kept his eyes closed and focused on not drowning. He screamed and lost the reed when something brushed his foot. He looked and there was horse Merlin and he nuzzled his way up Eggsy until they stared at each other. Eggsy was holding his breath and praying. He never prayed before, but he was thinking everything and anything now. 

He watched as Merlin switched back to grey, with the vicious teeth and sunken eyes. His hand reached over Eggsy’s shoulder and found him another reed. He held up his hands to signal 7 minutes. Eggsy would have to stay under for another 7 minutes. He wasn’t sure he could do it.

Eggsy watch as that thin band of light tightened around Merlin’s neck and dropped his human form on him like a stone. He could see how it hurt him, dreadfully. And Merlin was gone in a moment. Eggsy counted to 60 over and over until his lungs were in so much pain but he was sure he could get out. He pulled himself out of the water. He coughed and coughed water and bile came up. He looked back at the water and shivered. He needed to get through the whole place soaking wet. He remembered the clothes he had seen in one of the storage rooms and hurried there. He got changed and left his wet ones behind. He grabbed a spare shirt to mop up the water trail he had left.

Only Merlin was already doing it. Merlin was on his knees wiping it away and wouldn’t look at Eggsy. He froze so still when Eggsy dropped to the ground and hugged him.

“Eggsy, I warned ye curiosity is not always a good trait. Ye could have been -”

“You won’t eat me,” Eggsy said. “I mean you really proved that, didn’t you?”

“Nae, I won’t eat you,” Merlin agreed. They mopped up the water and hid the wet towel with Eggsy’s clothes. “Ye saw the truth of me though.”

“I’ve seen the truth of you for years, Kel,” Eggsy said. He shrugged. “No biggie.”

Merlin was completely nonplussed. “No biggie?”

“Hey, look, I figure I’m pretty gross when I eat curry chips, you are pretty gross when you eat liver.”

“Ye are the oddest child. And I know from odd, back in the day, I ate many,” Merlin smiled at him.

“Sorry, stuck with me as your best friend,” Eggsy grinned. “What other 13 year old gets to say their best pal is an ancient monster?”

“Actually there is one in Cairo, he has a djinn,” Merlin said.

“Huh, he and I should get together and compare notes sometime,” Eggsy said. “Merlin, I’m going to free you.”

Merlin smiled and hugged the boy. “Ye are sweet.”

“Just watch me,” Eggsy said.

“Come lad, your fathers will wonder where ye are.” Merlin guided him back upstairs, still in awe of the boy’s heart.

 

*******************************

Harry and Lee were finishing a jog on the grounds together when Lee paused. “What is that boy doing?”

Harry looked at Eggsy who was walking slowly around the grounds. But instead of a metal detector, it was a divining rod. He guessed that was what the small branch was. “He probably read something in a book, and is acting it out or doing some experiment.”

Lee nodded. “Sure, coming to the showers?” His grin was lusty. “Eggsy looks well occupied.”

Harry hesitated. “No,” he finally said. “I want to take a quick jog still. Lots of adrenaline in me.”

“I could help with that,” Lee said.

Harry just shook his head. “Think about where we should all go to dinner tonight,” he said. Lee gave him a salute and ran into the estate.

For the first time in years, Harry went over and sat where he used to with Merlin. He stared at the lake, lost in thoughts he couldn’t organize.

“Hello, Galahad,” Merlin said and sat beside him. “Haven’t seen ye here in a long time.”

“I saw Eggsy,” Harry said. “He’s looking to free you.”

“Aye.”

“Is that why you are friends with him? It was why you started being friends with me,” Harry said, bitter for no good reason. He didn’t miss the monster. He had Lee and Eggsy and his life was full and content without the fear, and terror. And the passion. Those smiles of Merlin’s that were horrific and beautiful.

“We are friends because we are friends Harry, that he decided to free me is on him,” Merlin said.

Harry looked at him. “You look better.”

“I ate a couple weeks ago,” he said. “Chester noticed I was slipping when Bors came back with both legs broken. So a snack.”

Harry hugged his legs. “Every mission I almost collect water for you. Even after all these years. Other agents think it is a superstition that if we are near water I put my hand in. I close my eyes and think what would this water feel like to Merlin.” Harry saw Eggsy walking and had an abhorrent thought. “Are you waiting for him to grow up?” As soon as he said it though, he swore. “No, forgive that Merlin. I know...that was unpardonable.”

“I have only ever been interested in one human that way Harry,” Merlin said answering the question. “When he is an adult he will still be my best friend, and nothing more.”

“You weren’t interested, not really, it was just to keep me on your side,” Harry protested.

“Very well then,” Merlin agreed.

Harry looked at him. “You weren’t interested,” he repeated.

Merlin looked right back. “Be happy with your lover Harry, don’t question what you believe of us. It will be easier for you that way.” Merlin stood up and stared at the pond. “I miss you,” he whispered and walked away.

Harry sat there and wondered if Merlin meant the water or him. Either answer broke his heart.

Eggsy just kept walking with his divining rod, trying to find the magic buried in the estate.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy is now almost 17.

Lee stood beside Merlin and was nervous. "This was a horrible idea," he said. He stared at the small Kingsman track. Merlin stood beside him with his usual clipboard.

"He passed his driver's ed, consider this extra defensive training," Merlin suggested. He watched the Jag take corners at an insane speed.

"This isn't training, this is Harry ignoring all my wishes for my son's safety," Lee huffed. The car started to spin in circles. "Jesus, Eggsy better be in safety gear in there."

"He is fine, I made sure of it," Merlin answered. He watched the car with a faint smile as it came barreling toward them. Lee jumped out of the way but Merlin stayed perfectly still. Harry stopped the car centimeters from his shins. "Tighter on the corners Harry, you aren't a Fin."

Harry came out of the driver's seat. "Hush you, my times there were excellent."

"Gawain has you by three seconds. Try less showboating, more actual driving," Merlin looked to Eggsy as he got out. "Thoughts?"

"I'll stick with computers with you," Eggsy said. Merlin handed him a bag and he threw up. "Jesus, Haz, was this revenge for that horror movie I made you go to?"

"I wanted you to see a little of what we do," was all Harry said.

Eggsy looked at him. "Harry, I work with Merlin when not in school. I've seen what you do. I've seen what you and Dad do when away."

Lee and Harry both looked at Merlin. "No son, I am sure that Merlin carefully shields you from -"

"Caracas, Harry you slit a man's stomach open with a spork. Dad saw you fuck that redhead in Prague. I've seen what you guys do," Eggsy shrugged. "And whatever, so don't want the job. It's boring."

"Boring," both Lee and Harry said in shock. Merlin hid a smirk.

"Yeah, boring," Eggsy agreed. "Oooh, look I jumped out a window in a suit all dramatic and then straightened my tie to show I'm a badass." Eggsy sneered a little. "Wouldn't even know that window was there if it weren't for Merlin. Sticking with him and R&D thanks." Eggsy walked into the estate.

"Gentlemen, you do have a meeting with Arthur soon," Merlin reminded them. "Harry put the car away."

"You can do it, can't you Merlin?" Lee asked.

"No, I can't," Merlin replied and followed Eggsy into the estate.

"Why is he only selectively helpful?" Lee asked.

Harry couldn't say that to get the cars into the garage required Merlin crossing a border he couldn't actually cross. Instead he just smiled. "Something about me having to learn to put away my toys properly. Always been dreadful at it."

Lee pulled Harry close and kissed him. "I know, always have been terrified what Eggsy might find without snooping very hard." Lee felt his heart ache as Harry slid out of the embrace without returning the kiss. Lee wondered if Harry even knew how much he had been doing that.

"I need to put the Jag back, see you in Arthur's office." Harry went back to the car and left Lee standing alone.

***************************************************

Lee was happy. He shouldn't be. They were in the dessert and searching for weapons of mass destruction, but he and Harry were alone, sent on a mission together. That never happened. It would be good for their relationship he thought. They had both been so busy, it was easy to let the romance slide, but he was determined to get it back. He loved Harry so much, and he loved their quiet life at home. They just needed the reminder of how good it was. Lots of couples went through 5 month dry spells. They would find the weapons, stop the bad guys, and maybe have a little time left over for a date.

"Merlin, I'm not seeing the man," Lee said from his roof.

"Nae, he stopped at stall, he'll be in range shortly," Merlin said. "Switching to Harry."

"Understood," Lee agreed and waited for the comms to go dead. He looked through his lens and tried to see the man he was supposed to put the tracker on. Only the bud in his ear crackled.

"Ye are not where you are supposed to be Galahad," Merlin's voice said.

Lee realized that Merlin hit the wrong switch and was broadcasting to all channels. He was about to correct him when Harry's voice came in, different than what he was used to. "Like I'm ever where I'm supposed to be you monster. I'm where I'm fucking needed though." Lee was stunned. Harry never sounded rough, or rude. Not even when that waitress dumped a plate of calamari on his head.

"East corner?" Merlin said. "The blind?"

"Of course," Harry answered. They were quiet and Lee thought it was done. "I can smell water," Harry said.

"You can't," Merlin dismissed.

"I can," Harry countered. "Near by, a fountain I bet, perhaps for washing feet, or one of those pretty ones, in gorgeous tile. I can hear a hint of a splash."

Lee had no idea why they were talking about water. He wondered if it was a code system they worked out. He knew Harry loved the water. That he took long showers and baths, would put his hand in any fountain they came across in their walks, the man always had a bottle of water on him. It would make sense to make a private work code out of water.

"Is it sweet?" Merlin asked.

"Water in the dessert is always sweet," Harry answered. Lee listened to the silence that felt incredibly weighted and slowly realized it wasn't a code - it was something else entirely. "Would you like me to bring you some?" Harry asked. Lee knew that voice. That whisper. He had rather thought it was his alone.

"No," Merlin said sharply. "Agent Galahad, the mark is moving. Be ready." There was a crackle and then Merlin was talking directly to Lee again. "Lancelot be ready in 2 minutes."

"Understood, Merlin," Lee said. But he didn't understand anything at all. When the mission ended Lee didn't suggest that they linger like he had wanted to. They went home and Harry had a long shower. And when Harry crawled into Lee's bed that night, it was Lee who suggested that they cuddle.

****************************************

"You are a fool," Arthur said to Lee. 

Lee looked at the target on the range. "Firing," he said and shot a clip. He was off, but then he was always a little off. He wasn't as good a shot as Harry. He lived his life content that he would never be as good at the job as Harry. No one was.

"You have him and you are letting him slip away," Arthur said.

"I didn't know you cared," Lee said. He put away the gun in the cage and looked at Arthur. "And you don't, not really. So why are we talking?"

"Because him being with you is better than who he was with before," Arthur said. "That relationship was going to cause a great deal of trouble and I was happy when it imploded. You two together are much safer."

"Safer," Lee said slowly. "Safer for whom?"

Arthur just looked at him. "Sort your house out." He stalked away.

Lee went to the library and pulled a random book off the shelf to pretend to read. He ignored as people came and went. An hour later he looked up and saw Merlin sitting across from him. Watching. Waiting. "You and Harry aren't fucking each other," Lee said.

"No, we are not."

"But you have," Lee turned a page in his book, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"No, not really. I've blown him a few times, we had kissed. We were never what Arthur thought, what Arthur feared. And now he puts thoughts in your head, because he thinks he sees the threat to his rule and in his pride misses the true threat." Merlin looked at Lee. "What do you see when you look at me?"

Lee was confused. "A man? Scottish. Our quartermaster. Clever, handsome, strong." Lee could feel that that wasn't the right answer. "What am I supposed to see?"

"What your son saw without even trying," Merlin said. He tilted his head a little and Lee was scared and didn't know why. He could feel fight or flight sinking into his skin just from Merlin moving his head a few inches. "He gets it from his mother's side." 

Lee gasped when for a second something else sat in Merlin's place. But Merlin was just normal. Monsters weren't real. In a second he forgot what he thought he saw.

"Interesting," Merlin said. He stood up. "I do wish you and Harry every happiness. Arthur is right, you should sort your house."

Lee realized something. "It isn't my house. It has never been my house." Beyond his clothes and books, nothing in Harry's house had ever changed to reflect him in the decade he had lived there. Eggsy's room changed to reflect him, but never Lee's. He was a guest in his own home. He looked at Merlin. "How much do the two I love more than anything in this world...how much do they belong to you? How much of what I hold in my heart hold you close?"

Merlin shook his head. "You mistake my relationships to your lover and your son."

"Do I?" Lee stood up. "I have so little in this world it turns out. And I never noticed."

Merlin felt pity for the man, a feeling he didn't often have. "Don't let Arthur know. Be very careful of him. He is far more dangerous than I. And I don't want him to decide you are expendable."

"Are you dangerous then?" Lee asked.

"Once upon a time, I was," Merlin said. He left the room and Lee sat back down, hurting more than anytime he had been shot.

*************************************************

"I want you to stay away from Merlin," Lee said to his son. Harry was out getting a new suit fitted and they had the house to himself. 

"What? Why?" Eggsy asked. "I've been hanging out with him for years."

"How much?" Lee asked.

"I dunno," Eggsy shrugged. "Whenever we have the time. Plus I am helping Kel find a thing."

"Kel?" Lee stopped chopping the food. "Is that his real name."

"He doesn't have a real name, that's just what I call him." Eggsy looked at his dad and beamed. "Wait did you figure it out too? Do you know like me and Harry?" Eggsy was vibrating with enthusiasm. "You can help me look. I have it figured out you know, I've been looking for the wrong thing. We don't want where the magic rope ends. We want where it began. The library doesn't have the answer, I need to get into the offices -"

"Eggsy, what magic?" Lee interrupted.

"You know," Eggsy said with a wink.

"I don't."

Eggsy paused. "Oh." He looked at his hands. "You don't do you?"

"I've decided to look at some flats," Lee said. "Some space of our own. What do you think?"

"But this is home, we can't leave Harry," Eggsy protested. He froze. "Are you and Harry breaking up?"

"I don't know," Lee said helplessly. "But I think some space wouldn't be a bad thing."

Eggsy shook his head. "No. I'm not leaving here. I'm not stopping my time with Merlin, and I'm not giving up on freeing him. And you can go to hell if you think you'll change that." Eggsy stormed out of the kitchen. Lee swore and poured himself a large drink.

**********************************

Harry got home to a dark house. "Hello?" he called out.

"In the kitchen," Lee answered. 

Harry walked in and kissed his head. "Sorry, dreadful fight about pinstripes, is there any food?"

"Plate in the fridge," Lee said. He sipped his whiskey. "Do you love Merlin?" he asked point blank.

Harry nearly dropped the plate. "I'm sorry?"

"You don't love me," Lee said. "So is it him that has your heart?"

Harry put the plate down and sat across from Lee. "You are wrong. I love you very much."

"You can't," Lee said. "Separate rooms, Harry after ten years. Where am I in this house? When you are scared or lost, or hurting, do you ever call for me?" Lee shook his head. "Jesus Harry if this is how you love, you must be so empty inside."

Harry felt his stomach drop. "I love you," he said fiercely. "I am old fashioned and wanted us to have space, to maintain a pretense for your son, but -"

"He's known about us forever, and you well know that. It hasn't been for him, it's been for you. So you can hide, so you always have an out." Lee sipped his drink. "How did I never see how little you gave back to me?"

Harry felt every word like a cut against his skin. "I gave you everything I could."

Lee smiled sadly. He reached out and touched Harry's cheek. He tilted himself up so he could kiss the man over the table. "I deserve more."

Harry nodded helplessly. "You do, you deserve so much." He squeezed Lee's hand. "Are you and Eggsy moving out? I...I'll be lost without you," he said.

Lee shook his head. "No, not soon anyways. After all the end of us, what does it change beyond no more knocks on doors at night? Why shake up our lives like that? Who are we but roommates anyways?"

"You were more than that to me," Harry swore.

"I wish I believed that. Goodnight, my love," Lee said. 

Harry stayed in the kitchen, head in his hands for hours, heart shattered. Eggsy took his father's chair near dawn and didn't say anything, just gave Harry company.

********************************************

Lee walked into Merlin's office. "He's all yours," he said to the quartermaster.

"He doesn't want to be," Merlin never looked up from the computer. "And I dinnae think humans can just pass each other around like that."

"Leave my son alone, you can have Harry but whatever it is you and I my son are involved in - it stops."

"You trade one aspect of your heart for another, without their permission?" Merlin finally turned and looked at him. "I cannae tell if that is pathetic or honourable."

"My son is not for your corruption," Lee said. "Walk away from him. Do what you want with Harry, but end your association with my son."

"No," Merlin said.

Lee pulled out his gun.

Merlin laughed. "I do not fear you, silly man. Put that away." He adjusted his sweater. "But I will tell Eggsy to stop his search, he will never find what he has been looking for anyways it is too well guarded. Will that suffice?"

"If I knew what any of that meant, perhaps. You three and your secrets, like I am too stupid to understand. I am a kingsman!" Lee screamed. "I save the world. I can certainly understand whatever it is the three of you hide."

Merlin sighed. "There are more things in heaven and earth. And even if we ever showed you the truth, you would nae believe, or understand."

"I hate you," Lee looked at him, feeling dead inside.

"I bear no feelings towards you whatsoever," Merlin answered. "But I will keep ye alive because they both desire it. Good day, Lancelot." He turned back to his computer.

"How did I end up with so little?" Lee asked quietly.

"Don't be a fool, you have had more than most." Merlin said. "Humans always want so much, and never are content with what they do have."

Lee opened his mouth and then closed it and walked away. At least maybe, Eggsy would be safe.

*************************************

Eggsy found the hidden mechanism. He had did as Merlin asked, as he knew his dad had asked of Merlin. He stopped searching the estate for the rope that bound Merlin to the land. It had taken him years to clue in that was the wrong thing to search for. They had all been looking at it wrong.

They needed to find where it all began.

He kept away a little more from Merlin, was at the office a little less, and with his Dad a little more. It made him happy, and Merlin had his home computer hooked into the system anyways. It was weird at the house how much and how little had changed. It was tense as fuck.

Eggsy slid into the room, almost a closet near Arthur's office. It had no windows, and only candles for light. It was a vile room, evil, in a way that Merlin had never felt. He hated it in there. It was everything that was wrong in the world in a few square metres.

And there on a stand was a book. Black and oily. And Eggsy could just see the shimmer of strings coming from it. Strings that in all likelihood lead to Merlin.

He was right, you needed to go to the beginning to free Merlin. The answers were there, in the book, in how they found and bound him in the first place.

The cover burned Eggsy's fingers as he touched it. He didn't care.

Eggsy turned the pages and began to read.

**************************************

Merlin walked into his room and saw a small vial sitting on his bed.

It was water from the Thames.

Vile, polluted water.

But it was sitting there.

He carefully put it in the box that he never got rid of at the bottom of his closet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we step forward Eggsy is 24

"Late again, Galahad," Merlin said casually as Harry and Eggsy got off the train. Eggsy was in his street clothes, the track suits they all made fun of him for. But it was the last one Lee had bought him. He looked waiting to see Harry's candidate only there was no one else with them.

Merlin looked at Eggsy, all gruff bravado, hands in pockets, likely hiding how they shook. "Go on then," Merlin said and pointed. Eggsy walked down the hall, shoulders not strong, but not slumped.

"Harry," Merlin said softly.

Harry's jaw was tight, and his eyes were filled with grief. "Do what you can," he said.

"It won't be much," Merlin warned. "He'll be watching." Merlin looked at Harry. "What are you going to do?"

"What I have to," he said shortly. He walked away without another word.

Merlin let himself into the training room after observing the group for a few minutes. Eggsy was playing the chav, his dialect down perfectly. It was a hobby of his, Eggsy could mimic pretty much every accent in the united kingdom well enough. But it was curious why Eggsy might be doing so now. There would be time enough to ask. He made a few notes, he could already guess who would be done with early and who would make it far. He let himself into the room and did his best not to pay Eggsy any more mind than the other candidates.

Merlin walked out and was not surprised to find King in his office.

"He's a candidate Merlin," King said. "You will follow the rules."

For the first time since the day he met the man, he tried to physically lash out. He poured the strength in his heart into the hatred in his soul and just pushed. There was a moment of satisfaction when King stumbled and a small drop of blood fell from his nose. Merlin didn't smile though, he knew better than to do so.

King reached into his pocket and yanked at the invisible chain and Merlin fell to his knees. "That was ill advised, you pathetic creature."

"I made ye bleed today, King. I'll make ye bleed again." Merlin choked a King wound the chain tighter than he ever had before.

"You will do your job."

"He is nae here willingly. Which means his life is off the table," Merlin said. "The rules are simple, King. They volunteer. He dinnae."

"I have it recorded. Harry asked and he agreed." King smiled and tightened the chain even more. Merlin began to see black spots. "Oh, does that surprise you? I even told him pick a more suitable candidate than last time. It was all his idea to ask your pet. I didn't even put the thought in his head. So what does that say about him? So mad in his grief over Lancelot he's willing to sacrifice the son as well? Who does he hate more, the boy, the monster, or himself?"

"Decades King, and ye still think I'm the only monster here. Your end is coming soon."

"Perhaps, but not by your hand. I bet the boy will taste sweet on your tongue, because we both know when I push him into that pool, you won't be able to stop yourself from eating him."

Merlin ducked his head and pretended to be defeated. Because at least he knew this, the hunger would never outweigh his affection for Eggsy.

"Charlie shows a lot of promise, Merlin, do make sure that he lasts a while," King suggested. He waited another minute before releasing the chain. "I'll be watching your interview with Eggsy."

Merlin swore at him in a long dead tongue. King said nothing and just walked away.

Merlin waited until the candidates had all fallen asleep. He had watched as Eggsy took a piss, eyes dead on the glass, like he could see through to Merlin. Like he knew for sure it was a two way mirror. And for all Merlin knew, Eggsy did, the boy had years of quietly sneaking around the estate. He hit the button and watched the room flood. Merlin watched as Eggsy played dumb and asked about the door, though he knew the water trick as well as the others. He had to admit he was impressed when Eggsy punched through the glass, he knew the boy worked out with the agents but still he had been hiding his strength.

He praised Roxy and Charlie and then Eggsy and yelled at them all about Amelia and lead them to a new room.

The next day they picked their puppies and Merlin had his interviews.

Most were as he expected. Charlie was better than he had been fearing, he wouldn't have to carry the boy through the first few months. He was horrified by Roxy, if Eggsy wasn't here, he knew she'd win for sure. And even with everything Eggsy knew, she could still beat him.

And then Eggsy walked in.

All bluster, more fragile than Merlin had ever seen him, that tiny pug trailing after him, like he was sure Eggsy had hung the moon.

"Candidate Unwin, please have a seat," Merlin said. "Tea?" 

"Nah, I have some water," Eggsy said casually. The fragility slowly stripped away and Merlin wondered how much he had been acting, knowing King would be watching. He leaned back in his chair and pulled out a small vial. "The Waters of Leithe," he said and tipped it back and drank. Merlin stared at him in shock. That was home. That was where he belonged. Eggsy left half the vial and began to speak, ancient words, broken and cruel. Words that should never drip from his tongue.

_I call to the lost souls carried in the four winds,_

_I bind the fires of the sea._

_I forsake the gods of light,_

_I laugh at the devil's plea._

_I entreat the old ones arise,_

_Here my voice, feed on my heart,_

_And fill me with your power,_

_So I may return your own to thee._

"Eggsy," Merlin warned as shadows seeped into the room. "That is not a tongue meant for you. Stop. King is watching, he'll kill ye." Merlin felt a tremor in his hand. "He'll have me kill you."

"Making it to the end Merlin," Eggsy smiled and it was bright as ever and the shadows scurried away, frightened of the heart in that grin. "And see the trick is, not to be so literal with the book. King and the ones before him, they did everything the book said. But I figured it out, all about seeing around the corners. I make it to the end, I know how to free you."

"Is that why you said yes to Harry?" Merlin asked.

"Only way to get you free Merlin," Eggsy tossed him the water. "Only way to get you home." 

Merlin opened his shirt and poured the small bit of water left over his heart. He took a breath and made an answering call to Eggsy in the old language, the language of his kin. The room shook a little.

"Okay, I don't actually have that much of the language figured out. Fucking hard syntax," Eggsy said.

"Because it was never meant to be spoken by humans," Merlin said. Merlin didn't care that King was watching. He went around his desk and pulled Eggsy into hard hug. He put his lips to Eggsy's cheek. "Ye have to win, because I cannae eat or kill ye and I don't know what he'll do if I don't."

"Merlin we got this," Eggsy said.

"No, we don't, but this is now too far gone to do anything but see it through." Merlin kissed his cheek. "Be smart, lad. Remember what ye know about the Kingsman. Use it. Do nae find yourself in my pool."

"I won't," Eggsy promised.

Merlin hoped he was right. Merlin went back around his desk. He then asked the question that bothered him most.

"Eggsy, I know why ye said yes." Merlin touched the water against his chest. It was almost dry. He wondered who had found the water, the truth. Eggsy or Harry. "Why did Harry ask you?"

This time Eggsy's fragility was real. "I have no fucking clue, bruv," he said. He picked up JB and left the office.

Merlin would have asked Harry, next he saw him, but it was rather hard to get answers from a man in a coma.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will feel/read weird

_Water, water, water everywhere goes drip drip drip._

_In the waters._

_Don't go near the water, mama always said. The water is dangerous. No little boy should go near the water._

_Stay away._

_Pray._

_Water, water, water._

_Why does he need to go near?_

_Go near, look, put your toes in, it will cool you free you._

_Let me go into the waters, let me find love under its blue._

_Grey fingers reached up and pulled him in._

_Harry was happy to drown._

~~He didn't drown, he never drowned. He went boom he always go boom.~~

You are so beautiful, we could be happy you know, just you and I, said Merlin never except in Harry's dreams. That how he knew this wasn't right. He was living it but watching it. He and Merlin being men, having dinner, laughing and soft touches. Candlelight. Merlin complimenting him, kissing his hand. 

Harry made himself knock his water goblet over and the monster emerged and launched across the table.

Teeth in the throat.

Blood.

Blackness.

It was better than the lie.

_Water_

_of the body_

_of the blood_

_of life_

_water to drink water to touch_

_he loved water even more than the monster now_

_he went to the pool_

_the fingers didn't have to reach out, he dove in_

~~He didn't dive in, he never did he wasn't that brave he wanted to he wanted to~~

Why couldn't you love me?

I did, so very much.

Not like you loved him

No, no my heart you were always wrong in that guess. I never loved him. I was consumed by him. Dry your tears, let us put you together again. You wouldn't want Eggsy to see you so undone. Come we can put the pieces back together, a waist coat perhaps to hold the intestines in.

Eggsy chooses him always over me

No, he just...he's you, only his cause is freeing Merlin not saving the world

Don't free him, listen to me for once, free him and you all die. Monsters are monsters Harry.

They are. Button your coat now. You look almost like you. I really did love you.

Everything you touch with love you destroy

Harry made himself press at the seam of Lee and watched him fall apart all over again. He drowned in the blood willingly

_water water water_

_blue green white shiny dull_

_can't be held can be held forever_

_water to him_

_water from me_

_he ran to the pool and stopped at the edge_

_eyes stared at him_

_shimmering in the water_

_he lay on his stomach and there was a kiss just on the edge of the water_

~~they never kissed that's how he knew this was all wrong, those teeth did they ever kiss did harry ever taste what merlin carried in his mouth~~

you're the monster not him 

i know that

you didn't even really look did you

i did, i swear i did

i found more answers than you ever did, how pathetic are you why didn't you find the answers

because dear boy if i did he would have left

you're fucking sick 

i know that

he's real he has feelings and you kept him bound

his feelings are different than ours

not for us

if i believed that it makes me the monster doesn't it

it's what none of you understand he was never the monster in this story

that's chester

that's you  **I call to the lost souls in the**

Harry didn't try to stop it, he knew he couldn't defeat those words he turned and ran it hurt but he ran

_water_

_he always ended up back at the water_

_but he realized it wasn't merlin's death pool in the basement_

_it was their spot_

_he couldn't actually reach the water he couldn't dive in. he sat on the ground and waited._

"Harry," Merlin said. "Why did you select Eggsy as a candidate?"

Harry looked around, "This is different." He blinked but he wasn't anywhere else, there wasn't a nightmare chasing him, he wasn't chasing a nightmare. "Where are we?"

"A pocket in your mind, an oasis if you will," Merlin said.

"You are capable of that?" Harry was surprised.

"No, this is just a dream too," Merlin looked out at the pond. "And perhaps if it is a dream -" he reached out but was stopped just as he was in the real world. "Your brain is as cruel broken as it is when you are awake."

Harry looked down and the old bucket was there. He walked and brought the water over he drenched Merlin in it. With the second bucket he stood in front of Merlin and poured it over himself.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" Merlin asked.

Harry could see his true teeth and for the first time wasn't repulsed. Dreams were handy like that. He knelt down and pulled Merlin's jumper off of him. He kissed the man. The monster. He was shocked when he was kissed back. But this wasn't Merlin it was what he wanted Merlin to be.

He pulled away. "Forgive me," he begged. He had wanted to ask that of Merlin for years and could never form the words.

"Why did you ask him to be a candidate Harry?" Merlin asked. He gripped Harry's neck tight. "Why?" He squeezed. "Why?" Merlin's grip tightened even more and Harry fell onto his back. "Why?" the monster roared as he choked Harry. "Why did you sacrifice him?"

"To save you, finally," Harry said and blacked out.

**He woke up**

****************************************************

Harry shaved slowly, precisely. A gentleman always took care with his appearance. Especially after weeks in a coma. He scraped and rinsed the razor in the water. He looked at Merlin in the mirror. The quartermaster watched him. Harry did two more strokes with the razor. Rinsed it off again. He finished, shaving could only take so long. He stared at Merlin in the mirror. "How is he?"

"Still alive," Merlin said. "He'll make the final three."

"Sure of that?"

"Sure of him," Merlin said. "I -" Merlin shook his head. "We need to talk about what happened."

"Ask me Merlin." Harry still wouldn't turn and look at him directly.

"No."

"Why not? You are desperate to know, so ask me." Harry rinsed out the small sink. He kept the water running. He remember dreaming of water. Of Merlin. Those were the same things really. He put his hands into the water, let the cold water pour over his fingers. He watched the water fall and bounce, his fingers were going numb. Harry could hear Merlin move.

Merlin turned off the water. Harry blinked, Merlin never turned off water.

Merlin grabbed the towel off of Harry's shoulder and dried the one hand, warmed the fingers up. He reached for the other but Harry wouldn't put it on the towel. The chilled wet fingers touched Merlin's cheek. Merlin's skin cast grey under the fingers. Harry ran his wet thumb over Merlin's lips. Merlin's tongue slipped out and licked.

Harry saw Merlin's true teeth and didn't flinch. He pressed two wet fingers into Merlin's mouth and watched Merlin suck them, felt the pressure of it through the whole of his body. Harry slowly pulled the fingers away. Merlin dried that hand as well.

"Whatever reason Chester suggested I had, they were wrong," Harry whispered.

"I would never begin to think that Chester is right about anything," Merlin commented. "But Eggsy doesn't know why either."

"I found the book too, a long time ago," Harry admitted. "But I was scared of it. Scared of you. Scared of monsters. And I pretended I never saw it. Eventually decided it was a dream, the book wasn't real." Harry looked at Merlin. "Until I heard him practicing the words one night, and knew. And remembered." Harry looked at the loss and anger on Merlin's face. He saw it fade into acceptance and understanding. And he finally saw the truth.

The truth of Merlin, the monster. The man.

"I talk to water," Harry said. "And I would ask it, whether to free you or keep you bound. Where were we safest from you? I prayed for answers at the water's edge, decades now."

"Water doesn't have answers, Harry. It's just the water. Endless, it doesn't care about you or me."

"It cares about you. It misses you. It loves you." Harry looked at Merlin. "I love you."

Merlin gave Harry his coldest smile. "What would I care about your heart?"

Harry pressed his hand to Merlin's chest. "Everything."

Merlin stilled. 

"You love me," Harry said.

"A monster is not capable of love."

"No it isn't," Harry said. "But Merlin is." Harry moved closer but didn't embrace him. "I asked Eggsy to take up his father's mantle because only a Kingsman can free you, and he is stronger and better than me. He won't falter when he gets the chance. Not like I did," Harry whispered. "I won't fail you again."

"You are human, you fail everyone, always," Merlin answered.

"I know," Harry agreed. "But not this time. Not again."

"Did you find the waters of my home?"

Harry smiled at him, luminous. "I finally found it?"

Merlin smiled, and it wasn't hungry, or monstrous, those long teeth filled with broken reeds were happy. "Ye did."

"Merlin, let me -" Harry leaned forward and the door banged open.

"HARRY!" Eggsy shouted. He ran into the room, his pug at his heels and threw himself at Harry. "Dad, you can't leave me too," he begged.

Harry held Eggsy fiercely. "My boy, I'm so sorry and so proud that you are doing well."

"What, like being a Kingsman is hard?" Eggsy joked. "Training, pfft. Easy as pie."

Harry looked over Eggsy at Merlin who shrugged a little. 

"We need to talk Harry," Merlin said. "Eggsy ye should -"

"Like he hasn't heard mission talk before, let him stay," Harry insisted, not ready to see Eggsy leave.

They talked it out and Eggsy explained about Valentine and the big announcement. They watched the video and Merlin made a noise deep in his throat. Eggsy and Harry looked at him.

"That man is no more human than I," Merlin said. "And just like me, someone is holding his leash."

"Who?" Harry asked.

"If I knew that, I would say," Merlin snapped.

"Well then, create me a cover good enough to meet the man," Harry replied. "Let's see who he really is."

 


	12. Chapter 12

"You look like an idiot," Merlin said in the dressing room.

"Valentine is a man who likes a little bit, or rather a lot, of flash. This outfit is appropriate," Harry countered and adjusted the cuffs of the new jacket that he had in his wardrobe but never brought out. 

"Ye are in plaid trousers," Merlin commented.

"And they make my legs look magnificent." Harry checked himself in the mirror. "And do a credible job of making my arse look not as appalling as usual."

"You are an appalling arse," Merlin agreed. Harry made a face at him but stripped down the clothes to pack them. He wouldn't change into them until the plane was near its destination. It would do no good to meet this man in wrinkled trousers. Harry slipped into a casual trouser and a cardigan. "Harry, ye need to be careful."

"I always am," Harry said.

Merlin gave him a look. "Really, Mister I have been out of a coma for a couple of weeks?"

Harry reached over and took Merlin's clipboard. He typed a bit on it and there was a quiet sound. "There, locks engaged, and cameras shorted." He stepped closer to Merlin. "I'll be careful enough," he promised. He smiled when Merlin didn't step back but stood his ground. "Merlin," he whispered.

"Yes, Harry?" Merlin asked.

"I have water for you," Harry said. He nodded a little and turned to go to his bag. Merlin stilled him. "Yes?"

"Don't worry about it for now," Merlin said.

"But you like me for the water," Harry protested.

"Oh, Harry," Merlin sighed. He drew the man back to him. "I like you for you. Ye don't have to bribe my affection. You already have it. Bloody human," Merlin said. "Let me show you." Merlin dropped to his knees and nuzzled the crotch of Harry's trousers.

Harry pushed into the touch a little and sighed happily. But then he remembered and pulled Merlin up. "No," he said.

"No?" Merlin touched the fly. "Ye seem to want."

"I do, but -" Harry took a breath. "This time is different. We are different. Unless you despise sexual touch, it is together or not at all."

Merlin looked at him. "I don't know," he said.

Harry paused. "Not even with another monster?"

"We are solitary creatures," Merlin shrugged. "And I liked being alone. I never traveled the waters to find a mate. I was comfortable in my spot. Moving seemed like work."

"Like how you adore your office."

"I hate the Kingsman," Merlin said sharply.

"No, you don't," Harry replied. "You hate that you are trapped, and you hate King, but you don't hate the Kingsman. You love your office, and the things you do. I've seen it. I've watched your smile when you bring one of us home, I've seen the way you run your hands over the desk. The way you laugh down in R&D, you hate much of what has happened to you. But you lie when you say you hate the Kingsman."

"I don't hate you. And you love the job, so I adjust accordingly," Merlin said. "You would be distraught if it all came tumbling down, so I don't let it."

"And that's the only reason?" Harry asked.

"It is a good enough one, and we have been distracted."

"We have," Harry carefully wrapped a hand around Merlin's neck. "May I kiss you Merlin?"

"Ye may," Merlin agreed. "Also..."

"Yes?"

"Call me Kel? I've grown fond of it," Merlin said.

"Kel," Harry breathed out. He leaned in and kissed Merlin gently, a soft press of lips. Their mouths moved against each other, tasting, enjoying but never pushing for more. Harry tilted his head back. "That is nice," he said.

"It is," Merlin agreed and was clearly surprised. "I didn't like it before."

"Was I so bad at it?"

"It made you happy and that was enough."

"Kel," Harry rested his forehead against Merlin's. "I'm so sorry. For everything."

Merlin closed his eyes. "It wasn't our time."

"And now is?"

Merlin reached in between them and undid Harry's fly. "I don't know. I think sometimes that you and I will never have our proper time. Hard to figure out when ye are standing in the middle of it all."

"We have right now," Harry said and it was his turn to undo Merlin's fly. He paused. "Is your," he couldn't think how to ask gentlemanly the question in his mind.

"I'm in human casing right now, ye idiot. My dick looks human like the rest of me," Merlin laughed a little. "When I am a horse, it looks like a horse dick, and when I am in between, it is what it is."

Harry left that sentence alone and slid his hand into the opening in Merlin's trousers. "No pants?"

"Often not, they are uncomfortable," Merlin said. "Only a hundred or so years in clothes Harry after 500 years alive. Still not used to them."

"You are cold," Harry said, hand against Merlin's skin.

"Ye are warm," Merlin replied. They stood their a hand in each other's trousers and just looked at each other. It was the most equal they had ever been in this. Harry pulled Merlin's cock out and looked down. Merlin followed his gaze. "Is it acceptable?" he asked curious. 

"I have seen you naked before," Harry said. He couldn't stop staring at his hand holding Merlin.

"Yes, but then it was when ye discovered what I was, you were too busy staring at the blood on my teeth to notice if it was a dick ye wanted to ride," Merlin said. He hand encased Harry's dick as well. He gave a stroke and smiled as Harry moaned. He lost his smile though when Harry stroked him. Merlin was surprised at the guttural noise that came out of his mouth. "Well then," Merlin said.

Harry moved them so that Merlin was leaning against the wall. He moved his hand slowly up and down Merlin's length. It was about average in terms of size, the skin soft and warming in his hand as Merlin grew hard. Harry kissed Merlin's neck but was careful not to mark him. He moved his hand up and down teasing Merlin until he cursed. "Oh Kel, it is about the tease and build up, not just the orgasm itself," Harry said.

"More," Merlin growled. "Do ye use your mouth?"

"I do," Harry said. He kissed Merlin. "Close your eyes." 

Merlin closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He felt Harry step away and frowned. He wanted the man closer. He wanted the man. He heard something open and then the feel of Harry against his legs. Merlin's eyes opened wide as Harry's mouth filled with water wrapped itself around his cock. He swore in his old tongue and the lights flickered and the mirror shook. Merlin tried desperately to control himself but the cool of the water and the warmth of Harry's mouth was overloading his mind. The enchantments on him dimmed for a moment and the shape in Harry's mouth changed a bit and then returned to human. It should have repulsed him but it didn't. Merlin could never repulse him anymore. Harry pulled off and swallowed the water and put more in his mouth and sucked again. He moaned when Merlin tugged at his hair, loving the feeling of those long fingers against his scalp. He make a cranky noise though when Merlin tugged him away.

"It is too much, Harry, just you," Merlin said.

Harry swallowed the water. "Imagine if we ever fuck in the shower," he grinned, lecherous, happy.

Merlin shuddered a little at that thought. "I would eat ye alive," he said, voice thick with new passion.

"I trust you mean in the sexual sense and not a literal one," Harry said.

"Aye," Merlin agreed. "Please, Harry?"

Harry nodded and licked the tip of Merlin's cock before sinking his mouth down. He bobbed his head up and down and reached to put Merlin's fingers back in his hair. He sucked as Merlin scraped nails against his scalp. Harry touched himself, jerking off as Merlin swore above him. He was impressed that Merlin hadn't shot off yet, but then again the monster was the epitome of control. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, pushing his tongue up and stroking with it. He could feel how tight Merlin was getting, muscles tensing. He gripped his own cock tight and moved his hand fast, wanting them to be close together. It was another minute or two at most when Merlin was coming in Harry's mouth. Harry spilled onto his hand and floor a moment after that. When he had his breath back he tried to scoop up what had fallen on the ground and stood up. He held his hand to Merlin's mouth and Merlin licked it clean, practically purring.

"Kel, did you enjoy that?" Harry asked, knowing the answer.

"We have much to explore when you return," was all Merlin said.

"Do you really hate the plaid trousers?" Harry asked.

"Nae, ye look fucking amazing in them," Merlin answered.

They packed up the room and left, not noticing Chester watching them go.

*******************************************

Merlin watched through Harry's glasses as he talked to Valentine. He swore to himself. Valentine damn well knew something was wrong here. The way they were talking to each other was just off. And Merlin could feel the magic pouring off of Valentine. For a moment, Merlin could almost two worlds lining up, the one he knew and the one he should have known. He hit a button.

"Eggsy, ye are needed for an interview in my office," he said sharply into the comms.

He froze when the woman with the metal legs came into Harry's view. Merlin watched Harry eat a happy meal and the woman stand there watching everything. "Harry, be very careful," Merlin said into his connection to the man. Harry was in more danger in that room than he had been facing 20 armed men with only his watch and umbrella. He watched Harry smile and try to calculate the trouble, but he knew Harry wasn't quite seeing it, understanding it.

Eggsy came running into the room and automatically sat at his desk and queued up his computer. "Kel, what do you need?" He began typing furiously. He then looked up at the screen and saw through Harry's eyes. And properly looked at Valentine. "He's...what is he?" Eggsy asked. "He flickers and he is...he's magic in a way you aren't."

"Thank ye, Eggsy," Merlin said dryly.

"You are magic," Eggsy said, knowing he wouldn't, couldn't say it quite right. "He does magic. It...fuck, I can see it out of the corner of my eye, but what is it?" Eggsy closed his eyes and opened his mind he spoke a little in the tongue of the magic book he had read and looked at them again. He saw. "She holds the leash," he said. "That woman there puts herself on the sidelines but holds the leash. He is the show, she's the power. But she doesn't have the power. Fuck, what are they Kel?" Harry kept only glancing at her, keeping 80% of his focus on Valentine. 

Merlin didn't answer Eggsy, incredibly tense until Harry returned to his car. He breathed a sigh of relief once Harry was away.

"Eggsy, that was a djinn, and his mistress. I mentioned them once years ago."

"I thought you said it was boy," Eggsy remembered.

"It seems I was wrong," Merlin answered. "It was a feeling, not a piece of information fact I had. But that is what we are facing."

"So like three wishes?" Eggsy watched Harry drive. "Why wish to be on the sidelines? Why put them in charge?"

"Because some people like to watch, Eggsy," Merlin said. "And it isn't three wishes. It is hard to explain how they really work. It is more, you request a world, a possibility and then have to sit back and deal with what ye reaped. So maybe she asked for something entirely different and this is what we are dealing with now. I just don't know. But we should be scared."

Eggsy got nervous, because nothing scared Merlin. It was very very hard to scare a monster. "Why? Why should we be scared?"

"Because a djinn will stop at nothing to make their owner's dreams come true. And they have limitless power in that aim." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "And Harry just was put on their radar as trouble. I don't have the power to stop what is coming."

Eggsy looked at Merlin. "You can try though, right? You've saved Harry before, you can do it again."

Merlin looked at the boy, and lied. "I can try."

He knew though, in that moment, that this wasn't to be his and Harry's time either. Eggsy returned to his candidate quarters and Merlin watched Harry get on the plane. Harry went into the bathroom and smiled in the mirror so Merlin could see his face. "Darling are we alone?" he asked.

Don't call me that, Merlin thought, even as he was filled with warmth by the word. "We are, do ye want to talk about what we learned?" he asked. Please want to talk about the mission.

"I'd rather give you a show, we can talk the job when I return," Harry grinned. "Let me give you a show."

Merlin swallowed the scared words on the tip of his tongue. "It would be a great pleasure to watch ye," he said finally. He watched Harry strip down and spoke as many protections as he could in his mind. And knew they weren't enough. Not as he was bound. He doubted they would be enough even if he was free and at full strength.

He watched Harry stroke himself and eventually whispered encouraging, dirty things. He would take what he could, for as long as he could.

**************************************

Roxy stared at Eggsy as he crawled back into his bed. "Eggsy, what's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said shortly.

"You can tell me," she whispered.

"You wouldn't believe me," Eggsy answered back.

"I might," she countered.

"You believe in magic and monsters, Rox?"

"No," she said.

Eggsy looked at her in the shadows. "You might want to start," he said and rolled over.

Roxy thought she heard him almost chanting and the room was getting colder. She burrowed in her blankets and dreamed of dangerous, scary things which she desperately tried to forget in the morning. They were going to be jumping out of a plane soon, and she needed to prepare for that.

Eggsy bled himself and chanted and tried to protect Harry and free Merlin and all it did was give him a headache and a scar. He needed to get the book. It was almost time to change everything. Before it was too late.


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin smiled at the cameras, he had a snack waiting. He turned to the four people behind him. "This night is yours," Merlin said. "After this all exercises are live. Congratulations Mr. Unwin, Ms. Morton." They all heard Charlie shout and fuck was Merlin looking forward to that meal. 

Roxy gasped and stepped back a little. Percival put a hand on her shoulder and kept his eyes on Merlin. "Just a trick of the light my dear, fluorescent lights are ghastly things aren't they?"

This intrigued Merlin just a little and he tilted his head a bit. Roxy bit back a whimper at the look on the quartermaster's face. "Trick of light?" she asked. She turned and looked at the other two who were perfectly calm and Eggsy was even smiling. "Trick of the light," she agreed swiftly.

"It is best whenever you see something you can't explain to blame a trick of light, or tired eyes. Certain things should be unnoticed," Percival said.

"I agree," Merlin said and gave a polite nod. "Now away with ye all." Merlin waited until they were gone and turned back to his cameras. "Hello, Charlie. Ye and I have your exit interview to attend to."

"No, you don't," Chester said from behind him. "He is free to go."

Merlin snarled. "Those are nae the rules. He failed. He is to be eaten."

Chester shook his head. "Payment."

"For what?"

"He goes free or I talk to Harry about the activities you two enjoyed before his trip. It will not be a talk he enjoys," Chester said. "You aren't that hungry are you?"

Merlin bit his tongue, felt the blood pool in his mouth. "No, I am rather full," he managed to say.

Chester laughed. "I would imagine Eggsy will be rather full soon as well."

"I expect they will go to their favourite pub now," Merlin was confused.

Chester's laughed went from fake to cruel. "So long alive and don't understand human impulse. The way they look at each other? They'll have a couple drinks and fall into bed together. Mix up all that pride and hero worship." He wanted to see if it hurt Merlin.

Merlin made sure to flinch and then try to control his reaction. "They won't," he said, but he put a tremor in his voice. This was a tactic that he couldn't understand and it was better to play along for right now.

"Oh, silly little creature, you were nothing to Harry but a challenge, a curiosity, and now that is satisfied." Chester nodded. "Have a good night Merlin."

Merlin made sure to go out to the end of his boundary and stare at the pond, it was what Chester would expect. He stared at the water and watched it in the moonlight. Whatever else Harry and Eggsy were doing tonight, it wasn't fucking. 

***********************************************

"This is what you wanted to do tonight," Harry walked down a very disturbing alley with Eggsy. He really was hoping the black stains on the war were tar, or shit, or something other than the blood he was sure it was. "Why couldn't we watch telly, or read with a brandy?"

"Because I found something that might help us," Eggsy said. "With the djinn." Harry was still hesitant. "Might also help with Merlin." Harry immediately moved into the alley and stepped on the rat that tried to scurry past. "Excellent, Haz, we were going to need some blood."

Harry looked at Eggsy and realized he was serious. He pulled the kerchief out of his pocket and picked up the rat and held it out. Eggsy grabbed his pocket knife and slit open the creature and drew on a door and then knocked. He spoke in the tongue that terrified Harry and it opened.

"Master Unwin," a voice said but there was no body. "We have what you seek, what do you offer?"

"I have cash," Harry said, moving closer to Eggsy.

"It don't really work like that Harry. I needed help to learn Merlin's language, so like I bartered."

Harry looked at Eggsy in horror. "What did you barter away?"

Eggsy shrugged. "Nothing I weren't willing to lose," he promised. "I...don't remember Mum so good now. But hey, I remember enough."

Harry hugged him tight. He glared into the dark doorway and held Eggsy tight with one arm and the other still holding his umbrella made the classic I'm keeping my eye on you gesture with one free finger. Harry was about to offer something, he had no idea what but a book appeared and dropped on the ground.

"Offer accepted," the voice said and the door shut and it looked like a smooth brick wall.

Eggsy picked up the book. "Well, whatever one of us was thinking was obviously good enough. I offered up my orgasms for two years. What about you?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, I can hardly think what thought they construed as an offer, all I was thinking was my son will not come to harm in this appalling alley. I was too busy keeping my eye on that black space to really think."

"Huh, well who needs a wank right?" Eggsy grinned. "And we have this." 

The book was old and vile, but in a different way than the one hidden in Chester's office. "Let's go home and you can read that."

They sat in Harry's office and Eggsy worked on breaking down the spells and language, for anything that would help. Harry drank.

***************************************************

"As in locked up," Harry said to Valentine.

Valentine smiled and Eggsy never took his eyes off of Gazelle.

 _Be gone pathetic wretches_ , he mouthed in the old tongue. Valentine flinched and looked at Eggsy. Gazelle just smiled a little and they walked out. Valentine sneaking a glance at them through the window.

"You need to be careful Harry," Eggsy said. 

"Come along, let's get you outfitted. Training has changed your shoulders," Harry said. "You'll need a better fitting suit." Harry's eyes unfocused. "One day, I will get Merlin in a suit. A treat when we free him perhaps."

"Harry we free him, he's going home, you know that right?" Eggsy said slowly.

Harry blinked. "Yes, of course, I know that," he answered, though it was clear he didn't. They didn't speak as Eggsy was fitted and soon Harry returned home and Eggsy went up to his meeting.

The one he had been biding his time for.

He walked in and met King. "Chester," Eggsy said.

"Harry and Lee taught you better manners than that," Chester said. "Sit, we'll have tea."

"I'll not drink anything you serve me," Eggsy said but he did sit.

"Are you scared, Mr. Unwin?" King asked.

"Nah, bruv," Eggsy grinned at him. "You don't scare me."

"Not me, him," King said. "He'll be eating you soon enough."

"I ain't going to fail whatever test you put against me." Eggsy settled back in the chair. "Free Merlin. I'll only ask once."

King reached into his pocket and pulled at the chain. Eggsy heard a thump and a curse from the other room. King wrapped it around his hand again and again. "You think to challenge me. I who have spent decades studying, learning, controlling him?"

" **I call to the -"** Eggsy began to chant clearly.

Chester just laughed. "So close, but you see you still have to say the words out loud to have the punch. I can just punch." Chester gestured with his free hand and Eggsy was pushed back hard enough to knock the chair over. Chester flicked his hand again and Eggsy felt a kick to the ribs. He managed to whisper enough words to put up a shield that blocked Chester's next blow. Eggsy watched Chester wrapped the barely visible chain again and he heard Merlin choking and Roxy shouting for a doctor. Eggsy reached into his pocket and pulled the knife made of bone and bathed in blood and a few other things. It had taken him years to properly sanctify it. He rolled and cut the chain that tied Merlin to the estate, to the Kingsman. Chester flung him across the room before Eggsy could cut the second chain that bound Merlin to Arthur.

Chester roared in rage.

"He's at least free from that," Eggsy said and he got up to cut the second thread. Chester quickly loosened it so that it wasn't an easy taut line for Eggsy to cut. He then held out a hand to JB. Eggsy froze for a moment and then ran in front of his dog.

Chester began to laugh. He returned the chain to his pocket. "You chose your fucking dog, over Merlin. You missed your chance to completely free him in order to protect a dog?" They heard a gun shot from the other room. "She managed to shoot her dog. You didn't. You lose, Eggsy. And I will let him know that you failed. I think now he will very much enjoy eating you." Chester looked at Eggsy on the ground and the chain was well away hidden, protected by magics. Eggsy had missed the chance. "Pathetic, just like your father." 

Eggsy looked over as Roxy and Merlin came into the room. Merlin couldn't speak the stress that had been put on his throat too much. Roxy was looking at them all in confusion and Eggsy didn't think. He just ran.

*************************************

"Chester was kind enough to share what happened. That you failed," Harry yelled when Eggsy came in.

"I didn't think he was that deep into the magic Harry, shit, to do what he was doing, you gotta have no soul left. No human should be able to think those words and make stuff happen." Eggsy was fidgeting.

"You chose your fucking dog, over Merlin," Harry was almost red with anger. "A mutt you've had for a few months over a man who has loved you and taught you for how many years?"

"I didn't mean to!" Eggsy yelled right back. "I couldn't. It just happened Harry. I couldn't. I was never meant to be a killer like you."

"You promised!"

"Got further than you ever tried and you say you love him," Eggsy snarled back.

Harry was ready to give him more but the phone rang. He listened for a few minutes and then hung up. "I have to go to Kentucky. If I don't King will make it much worse on Merlin."

"Harry it's a trap," Eggsy said. "Don't go," he begged.

"It's the only way King won't kill Merlin now, is if I follow orders." Harry's gaze was colder than Eggsy had ever remembered seeing. "Stay here, we'll sort this when I'm back."

"Harry," Eggsy said.

Harry just shook his head and walked out.

***************************************

Merlin was grateful that King was monitoring them from his office. He didn't know what would happen if the man was in the room with him. He could feel it. He could feel that he could reach the pond, he could get into that water and not come up until King forced his hand. But maybe he'd have strength enough to fight the man. But he didn't have time to find out because King was watching and Merlin would never abandon Harry. 

He watched Harry as the man dressed in the plane's bathroom. He watched how Harry lingered over tying his tie, how Harry's hands settled over his heart for a moment. He knew that was for him. 

"Harry, I have no idea what to expect in there," Merlin said. "This is...beyond my ken. I know tales but how it is materializes. Even the djinn may not know. This was set when his leash holder made the wish. We walk an inevitable path."

Harry smiled in the mirror. "Nothing is inevitable. Except perhaps that my heart was yours to do with as you will. Would you like to eat it? If you asked it of me, I would let you."

Merlin closed his eyes. "I will not eat you. Your heart is safe from me."

"No, my heart is safe with you. A small distinction but an important one." Harry nodded. "Let us see what we have then."

Harry walked into the church and sat down. He felt sick to his stomach at the vitriol they were spewing. But none had shifting faces. None had a glamour on them. They were purely human. "Give me a real monster any day," he whispered. He began to get up and a woman touched his arm and asked where he was going. He turned and said something sarcastic, he couldn't even say what. He needed to get out of there. Everything in his mind was screaming to leave.

He stood in the middle of the aisle and felt it sink over him. A lovely blankness. Oh it was the most certain about anything he had felt in years.

No confusion, no pain, no uncertainty.

Just this simple simple whiteness to his thoughts.

He pulled his gun out and smiled just a little.

****************************************

"Harry!" Merlin shouted into the comms. He could feel the magic settling onto Harry, into Harry. And there was nothing he could do. He screamed Harry's name again and again. He pulled at the water and blood in his system until it felt like his veins were burning, on fire but it created nothing.

He gathered what he had to himself. " _I call to the heaven that denies me, and the hell that birthed me. I offer my skin and teeth, my strength and my life. I bid the old gods, hear my prayer, aid my cause."_ Merlin prayed and then pushed and for a moment Harry stopped. "Harry, hear me. Hear me my mate. Hear me my river mate. Walk out of there now." But it wasn't enough, the djinn had been feeding off this wish for years gaining strength, and Merlin just wasn't a match. He prayed again and again and the building shook with what dark words poured through him and Harry didn't hear or a feel a bit of it. All it did was keep Harry alive. 

Merlin didn't know for how long it would though.

He breathed out and slumped into his chair. He had thrown out more power than he had and was pale and shaky. Merlin would need to eat and soon. At the very least he would need to get into the water. But Harry was safe. They were all dead.

He watched through Harry's glasses as he stepped out of the church.

At this point he was so weak, he felt detached as they bantered. 

Merlin watched Harry joke and try to straighten his jack just a little. "Please," Merlin begged. He realized that now, now Harry could hear him. "Please, gods of old, hear me. Save my love," he said. The words were the truest he had ever said, had ever felt.

 _My Love_.

It was so strange to watch the flash and shatter as the bullet hit the glasses and Harry looked at the sky before falling back.

Merlin was too exhausted to even cry. He kept his eyes on the monitor's at the blue sky. He had been right, it wasn't their time.

There was no more time to be had.

He nodded to himself. "King?" he said into the comms.

"Yes, Merlin," King said softly. Merlin couldn't tell what that tone in his voice meant. He didn't really care. He didn't care about anything now. "What do you do now?" King asked. "Do you challenge me? Are you finally going to keep all your sad little promises?"

Merlin laughed and just spun in his chair. "No, King. You win. You have me utterly tamed and defeated. None of it really matters, does it? Do whatever you want to me. For my part, I'm going to watch the world burn. It deserves it." Merlin shut off the comms and closed his eyes. He was done.

He prayed to the old gods to end him.

But they didn't listen to that prayer, anymore than they had listened to the prayers to save Harry.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Eggsy wondered why he wasn't more angry or sad or scared or anything. He walked up the stairs and opened the door and there sat King. And he knew King was stronger than him, that King was steeped in the magics in a way he would never be, could be. But he wasn't worried. Not now. Not ever again.

Once you've seen the worst thing imaginable, something is changed in you.

"Eggsy, sit down," Chester said.

Eggsy sat. "Harry is dead," he said. "Always figured it would be by your hand, not some djinn with a gun. Who can guess that yeah?"

Chester nodded a little. "Will you drink with me now?" Chester turned and Eggsy saw the scar on his neck.

"Yeah, bruv. Think I will. We toasting Harry? Like you toasted my dad?"

"We will, yes," Chester agreed and poured them both a brandy. 

"Hey King, Merlin's behind you," Eggsy's grin was wicked and he laughed when King turned swiftly to check. "Sorry, just had to."

Chester faked a laugh, furious that he had checked. "No, Merlin is quite broken now. Poor wretched beast. A tamed monster will be of no use to me. I'll have to dispose of him." Chester raised his glass and Eggsy raised his and they drank. "You fool," Chester said and laughed. "Did you really think I wouldn't kill you?" He opened up the pen and waited.

Nothing happened to Eggsy.

Eggsy leaned foward. "Shouldn't have tried Kingsman means to kill me bruv. Not when I've been a fucking part of this place since I was 9. Should have just blasted me with magic when I came in the door." 

Chester felt the first pain in his heart and tried to call the magics to him.

" _I call to death, I call to her who awaits us all, take this wretched soul, take it to feed the demons, take it to where it belongs,"_ Eggsy chanted, blocking whatever Chester would try to gather. "You fucker I hope hell is you in a room surrounded by all those you've done wrong to."

"I kept this world safe." Chester glared at Eggsy.

"Go to hell," Eggsy said.

"You read those books, I'll see you there," Chester gasped out.

"Nah, see, never read them to hate or control, bruv. That's all you," Eggsy watched Chester die. He dragged the body down to the change room.  It took a lot of work and halfway through it all the body voided itself. "Oh fucking gross, they never show this in the fucking movies," he muttered. He got it onto the train and made it to the estate. "Merlin? Do you like to eat the dead? Because I've got a snack for you. A good one, one you've been waiting for."

Eggsy looked up and saw Roxy pointing a gun at him. "Hey Rox, how's tricks?"

"You killed Arthur?" Roxy stared at him in horror. 

"Where's Merlin?" Eggsy asked.

"He won't leave his chair," Roxy said. "He's just sitting there staring at a blank screen. He doesn't look good. He didn't even notice me standing in front of him."

"Right, help me carry Chester over," Eggsy said.

"No," she held her gun steady.

"Look, the world is about to go to shit, I think, and I have a good idea how to help but we need Merlin."

"You killed Arthur," she repeated and didn't move.

"I killed the fucker who kept Merlin, my best friend, enslaved for decades." Eggsy glared at her. "You have no idea what shit you've stepped in here, but you are now a part of it. So pick up the fucking body, so Merlin can eat its liver."

"I'll nae eat him," Merlin said having come over at all the commotion.

"Come on, you know you want to," Eggsy said. "You've been wanting to for years." He took a proper look at Merlin. "Jesus fucking Christ what did you do Merlin?"

"See, I think it is a migraine," Roxy said. She finally put her gun away.

"Get him water, Roxy, all you can carry," Eggsy said. She didn't move. "Now!" Roxy ran to the loo. "What'd you do?"

"Kept Harry alive in the church," Merlin said. "Eggsy, he's -"

"I know," Eggsy said. "I saw."

Merlin pulled Eggsy into a hug. "I would have never wanted ye to see that." His grip was tight, even though he was weak. "Shall we watch it all fall down?"

"No, we're going to stop it," Eggsy said after he pulled back. "We're going to stop it, Kel."

"Why?" Merlin tilted his head. "Why should I? I'm tired Eggsy, of being good. I'm tired of caring even the little I did. And the thing that kept me caring, the person who did, is dead and I could nae save him. So tell me why I shouldn't just let the djinn and his mistress win."

"Because I'm asking you to care, and I ain't never asked nothing of you before," Eggsy said.

Merlin laughed. "You asked things of me constantly."

"Not like this," Eggsy said. "I am asking you to give a fuck about people, Kel. Because I do, because Harry did. Because you know he would have wanted you to."

Roxy came back in with three water bottles. Eggsy took one and opened it and poured it over Merlin's head.

"What the fuck?" Roxy asked as colour was restored to his face.

Eggsy dumped the second one on him as well. "You need to eat," he said.

"How long dead?" Merlin asked. He took off his jumper and shirt to have more skin contact with the water.

"20 minutes?" Eggsy asked. "Dragged him here first thing."

"The skin will have no nutrients left for me, but the core organs will still be of some value. Too long though to drag him to the water," Merlin said. He looked down at the body. "I need a bit more water. And we need to open him up."

"I don't understand," Roxy said. "What is going on?"

Merlin didn't answer just walked away to get more water. Eggsy looked at Chester on the ground and picked up a foot and stomped on the geezer's sternum.

"Eggsy!" Roxy was shocked.

"Rox, if that upsets you, you really don't want to see what is going to happen next." Eggsy crouched down and pulled out the blade he had made. He jabbed it into Chester's guts and dragged up. Roxy turned and threw up. She watched as Merlin flung buckets of water down the hallway. Her knees went weak and she fell to the ground as he stripped the rest of his clothes off. He crawled along the water path he made and the closer he got to King the more horrific he looked.

"What are you?" Roxy whispered. She looked over at Eggsy. "Oh god," she stuttered. That was Eggsy who gave his puppy scraps and took care of her on the jump and he was ripping intestines out of a man, and grinning when he managed to cut out the heart and liver.

"Bit pickled, Kel, but what can you do?" Eggsy knelt there and offered up the organs to Merlin who was all teeth and sunken skin and long fingers.

The organs squished and sprayed as he bit in. Roxy tried not to pee herself in fear. She watched bits fly and Eggsy didn't flinch at all as Merlin licked the blood and muscles off his fingers. She looked down at the destroyed corpse.

"Eggsy, what's that line?" she managed to ask.

"What line Rox?" Eggsy wasn't really paying attention, but petting Merlin, as Merlin lay in the water and slowly shifted back to a more human form.

"That one?" She pointed. "It's attached to his throat, but it is moving from King to you."

Eggsy looked down at his hand and realized that the magic binding Merlin to Arthur didn't die with Arthur, but had transferred to him. "It should have stopped. Arthur is dead and named no successor." Eggsy looked at Merlin who sat up and stared at him. "I'm cutting it," he said quickly.

"No," Merlin answered and stopped Eggsy from reaching for his knife. "Don't."

"But it shouldn't exist anymore. Arthur died, you are free."

"Arthur was killed. He dealt in magic and so did you and you murdered him, sacrificed him. The magic calls to the magic and recognizes you as Arthur." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "The only Arthur I will ever bow my head to."

"Let me cut it Kel," Eggsy pleaded.

"No," Merlin said. "Not yet. We finish this and then ye can cut it. But having me bound to you for this fight is not a bad thing."

"Kelpie," Roxy blurted out. "Oh my god, that is why Percival told me to never go near water on the estate."

Merlin smiled a little. "Indeed," he grinned and picked some heart out of his teeth. "But ye will have to get in the water with me soon lass, unless ye can fly a plane."

"I don't understand," she said.

Eggsy did though. "Are you strong enough?"

"Nae, but together we are, probably." Merlin looked at him. "It is our chance. If ye know the calls of travel."

Eggsy nodded. "They were in the book me and Harry got just before -" he couldn't finish the sentence.

Roxy looked at them. "Complete sentences would be very helpful right now."

Eggsy looked at her. "Short version? Merlin is a kelpie kept enslaved for his power by the Kingsman for about 100 years. They feed him the candidates who fail. They abused and tortured him for his ability to power R&D and make the gadgets. He's good at making things look like something else. He mostly only likes people for how tasty they are. Except me, his friend, and Harry who was his," Eggsy looked at Merlin for the right word.

"My river mate," Merlin said.

"Right, that means soulmate. Anyways Valentine is a djinn who is fulfilling the wish of the girl with the blade legs. Seems to basically be an end of the world kind of situation. Don't know a lot else, but thanks to Chester here, we know where they are." Eggsy lifted his wallet that had a note with co-ordinates on it. "Fucker never could remember numbers. So we go there and save the world and kill the bad guys. But none of know how to fly so we're travelling by water. Which will take a good bit of magic to happen." Eggsy smiled at her. "You a good swimmer?"

"Yes," Roxy said. "I guess we need a waterproof bag and supplies." She got up on shaky legs and went to find something.

Merlin and Eggsy stood. They both stared at the chain connecting them. "I'll free you the moment we're done."

Merlin shook his head. "No."

"But you said -"

"Eggsy," Merlin looked at him. "I'm done. I do this for you, though I don't want to. And we were are done. You don't set me free, not the way you mean."

"Well what way should I mean?"

"You end me," Merlin said. "You fucking end me, because I am not doing this without him. You end me and return me to the water. I am ready for peace."

Eggsy looked at him in horror. "Kel," he said. "You can't leave me too."

"I have nothing left, Eggsy." Merlin kissed him. "I save the Kingsman not out of duty, but out of love today. For you, for him. This one last time, and then I will embrace the dark."

Merlin turned and walked into his office to get what he would need.

Eggsy stared at the chain and wiped away the tears.

Roxy came back with a gym bag. "Eggsy?"

He just shook his head.

Merlin returned and they went to the basement. Roxy looked around the pool. "What do we do?"

Eggsy and Merlin got into the water and she followed them in. All three had a bag strapped to their chests. Merlin stopped looking human again and reached out to her. Roxy flinched away until Eggsy's hand was on her other shoulder. She reached for Merlin and touched the repulsive skin.

"Roxy all you do is pray we are right, and a guy who fulfilled a wish the way he has, built a pool into their doomsday bunker, because otherwise we're dead." Eggsy began to chant low and gutteral in a tongue that made Roxy bleed from her nose just a little and her ears ring. It got worse when Merlin joined in.

"Have a pool, have a pool, have a pool," Roxy begged. She could feel herself thinning, melting away as the magic poured into her. She screamed "POOL POOL POOL POOL," as it felt like her bones were disintegrating. Eggsy and Merlin pulled her in between them and prayed to things better left in the dark abysses of the universe.

When Roxy opened her eyes, they were somewhere else and Eggsy and Merlin let go and she sank to the bottom of the pool. Eggsy went down and brought her up. They climbed out and Merlin tossed Eggsy his bag and was about to push out of the water when 3 guards came in to do their patrol.

"Who are you?" One shouted and reached to hit a security button.

Merlin launched out of the water in his horse form in a blink of the eye and all three guards were in the water before they could call for help.

Roxy watched the water turn red.

Merlin popped up monstrous and slid back to human. "We have uniforms, bit bloody but managed not to tear them." He pushed a body that had no head in their direction and Eggsy fished it out of the water.

"Brilliant, Kel," Eggsy said and began to strip the corpse down.

"Brilliant," Roxy whispered hoarsely.

Merlin looked at her. "Don't worry, lass, ye look plenty sweet, but I will nae eat you today." He pushed over a second body and then the third.

Roxy took a deep breath and began to strip one of the bodies. "Trick of the light," she reminded herself. "It's all been a trick of the light."

"Or a dream, lass, if that works better for ye." Merlin had the third body stripped down. He focused his energy and soon the uniforms were clean, dry, and would fit them all.

Roxy looked at Merlin. "I'll never dream again."

"Right, philosophy later, saving the world now," Eggsy said in the Kingsman suit he had put on. The one Harry had made for him. "But figure it works better if the guards found a wandering guest yeah?"

Merlin nodded. "That should indeed work."

"How many guards are in here do you figure?" Roxy strapped on a gun.

"Oh far too many, we are fucked," Merlin said.

"Completely fucked," Eggsy agreed. He checked his watch and held an umbrella.

"I can live with those odds," Roxy said.

"Lass, it is doubtful we live tonight," Merlin said calmly.

Roxy straightened her shoulders. She was a Kingsman she would meet whatever was next face on.

Eggsy started to walk casual as could be out of the pool area and they followed him into where the crowds were gathered, ready to see the end of the world.


	15. Chapter 15

"This is a lot of posh and famous twats," Eggsy muttered to them.

"Language, Eggsy," Merlin said in a fair imitation of Harry. "Be a gentleman if we want to see it through."

Roxy looked around. "What do we do?" she asked.

"I am going to go find a computer system I can hack. Eggsy ye need to work the room, find me a passcode. Roxy blend into security see if you can give me numbers. Eggsy ye've got the glasses. Roxy channel...4 on the walkie talkies." Merlin left them and disappeared back down the hall.

"How do we know he'll help and not go on a rampage, Eggsy?" Roxy asked.

Eggsy looked at her and shrugged. "We don't." He melted into the crowd. 

"Great," Roxy looked around and gave a nod to another security guard and went in the opposite direction that Merlin had gone. She took a few twists and turns and ended up in a row that was clearly more for prisoners. "Interesting." So not everyone at this party was here freely. "Hullo?" she called out before realizing the steel doors and rock of the mountain would probably block sound. She knocked and opened a few of the small windows. No one. Perhaps these were just the guest rooms after all. She decided to try one more.

When she opened the small window a face appeared and started shouting a rather impressive string of profanities. "Ma'am, ma'am, I need you to calm down," Roxy said. She looked quickly around in case the noise drew any other guards. Sure enough, because the universe hated Roxy one came hurrying down the hall. She didn't want to fire a gun until she had to. Roxy grabbed her knife and flung it. It got stuck in his throat and he fell down. Her first kill. She would think about that later. "Now ma'am, please be quiet."

"You are not one of them?" she asked and her voice had a sweet lilt. Roxy realized it was the missing Swedish princess.

"Your Highness we are here to stop Valentine," Roxy swore.

"The woman with him, she's the really dangerous one," Tilde said. "This stupid plan."

"What is the plan exactly?" Roxy asked.

Tilde explained that the sim cards everyone had would emit a signal and cause extreme violence. They were going to let most of the world kill itself before turning it off. Anyone who had a chip or was locked away like her would be safe from the effects.

"Bloody fucking hell," Roxy said. She grabbed her walkie talkie. "Merlin? I know what is going on."

"One second lass," Merlin said calmly. They both heard screams and some thuds through the device. "Poor bastard, all the fatty build up in his heart. Ah well, everyone enjoys a happy meal once in a while." 

"Merlin are you eating?" Roxy asked calmly.

"Ye want me to be strong enough to help, have to let me snack lass," Merlin said. "Now I am at a computer, explain."

Roxy gave him the run down.

"Interesting," Merlin said. He was quiet for a moment. "Eggsy gave me the passcode. Hopefully I find a room with a computer soon."

"Orders?" Roxy asked.

"Thin as much of the guard numbers as you can," Merlin said. "I have a system, I will see what I can do."

"Understood." Roxy turned off the walkie talkie. "Your Highness, you are safest in there until we neutralize the threat at which time we will return for you."

"They have over a hundred men. How big is your group?" Tilde asked sharply.

"There are three of us, so it is almost a fair fight for them," Roxy said. "I will be back and free you Princess." Roxy figured the way the guard came was a good place to start.

********************************************

"Charlie, you fucking wanker, Chester should have let Merlin eat you," Eggsy said as he breathed carefully. The twat was holding the knife rather close.

"Valentine, we have company," Charlie shouted.

Eggsy looked up and there were Gazelle and Valentine up in the glass room. He smiled at them, " _I see your magic and repel it with my bound and offered soul_." The glass around their room shattered and all the posh people in the room screamed and were nervous. Eggsy elbowed Charlie and leapt down to the main level. He ran in the direction Merlin had gone. "Merlin?" he shouted. "Where the fuck are you?"

"Follow the blood, bit busy here." Merlin shut the connection down.

Eggsy looked at his feet and followed the bodies until they stopped. He looked at doors and it took three tries to pick the right blood soaked handle. There was Merlin at a bank of security computers and he had managed to wire  one of the chips into it and was reading the data. Eggsy sat at a bank and checked the cameras for Roxy. He saw her fighting through a dozen men. He opened his channel. "When you are done, corridor to your left," he said.

Roxy didn't respond but when the last man fell she ran. Eggsy gave her the direction he could, tried to sound as confident as Merlin as he had her circle around to where they were. He couldn't believe went she came down their hall and slammed into their room. Alive and unhurt.

"Fuck me running, you are a right proper Kingsman, Rox," Eggsy said in awe. "That was the sort of shit my dad and Harry would do."

"Thanks, but we're trapped in here," she said. "And look. Valentine started the code. Soon the world will claw itself apart."

Merlin shrugged uncaring. "Scraps for my kin who hunger is nae bad."

"Oh come on, you hate vampires, you really going to let them have all that tasty food?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin growled a little. "Fucking useless creatures." He looked at his screen. "Well, well. Smart. I cannae stop the world signal it is tied to Valentine's palm code. Eggsy will have to go and stop him."

"I'm the better fighter," Roxy said.

"But ye have no magic lass, and that will be needed," Merlin explained.

"I can help him," Roxy protested.

"Honestly, Merlin two of us, probably better than one. Rox can deal with Gazelle, while I battle the djinn," Eggsy said. "But Merlin? How do we get through all those guards, all the people in the room?" Eggsy pointed at his screen at the guards pouring into their hallway.

Merlin smiled and they could see his true teeth. "Easily." He tapped his keyboard a little and hit enter. He smiled. "Ye should never let a super villain perform surgery on you."

Eggsy and Roxy watched as head's started to blow up in the hallway, in the party room. Merlin with one keystroke had killed hundreds. And he was humming happily as he watched the show.

"Merlin," Eggsy said, not sure what he felt.

"You monster," Roxy managed to say.

Merlin looked at them sharply. "It is better when I eat three then? You wanted to save the world and thought it would be an easy blood free thing? Ye thought hard calls would never be made, a few hundred to save a few million. Harry made these choices, so did your father, Eggsy. Do not be so weak now, to be sad over the deaths of people who are willing to tear down the world."

"You are willing to tear the world down," Roxy said.

"No, I am just willing to let it happen, I wouldn't actively seek it out," Merlin said. "Ye have your window to save those innocent people you say matter. Will you take it? Or weep and wail in here?"

Eggsy nodded. "Take a life to save another."

Merlin nodded. "Go. I'll keep trying to disrupt the system from here. It is up to you Kingsman."

Eggsy stood and kissed Merlin's head. "For Harry."

"For Harry." Merlin nodded a little and turned to the computer. He watched as the system went live and showed the signal starting to affect the world. "Hurry, you two."

Roxy and Eggsy left the room and ran down the hall, slipping a bit in the brain matter and skull splattered everywhere. They made it to the party room and Gazelle watched them. Valentine didn't turn around, hand steady on the table.

" _I call to the golden mountain -_ " Eggsy began.

"Oh no, none of that when we are so close," Gazelle said. She jumped out of the window and pushed with the power she drained from Valentine. Roxy and Eggsy went flying. Gazelle walked to them. "You have a leash too. Why aren't you joining me? What do you have?"

"I don't have anything," Eggsy said.

"Yes, you do." Gazelle came closer. "You didn't before though. You had the words but not the toy."

Eggsy snarled. "Kel, is not a toy."

Gazelle smiled. "So you are like me."

Eggsy charged her and they fought. "I am nothing like you," he shouted. Gazelle was better than him though and he was thrown across the room.

Roxy stepped in. "Eggsy go for Valentine," she said. She didn't really understand everything. But this was simple. They had to stop these two people. Two villains, two heroes. Easy maths. "Hello," she said to Gazelle. "Please, can't you stop what is happening? This can't be what you want."

Gazelle shrugged. "Turns out you have to be very very careful when you make a wish to a djinn, but this? This is far too interesting to stop at this point." She struck out and soon her and Roxy were fighting hard.

"Eggsy, the world is getting fucked and I am at most disrupting the signal in a couple locations. Move!" Merlin yelled into the comms.

Eggsy jumped onto a table and climbed until he was cutting his hands on the broken out window. He hauled himself up and tried to ignore the shouts and thumps he was hearing from Roxy and Gazelle. He couldn't just kill the djinn in cold blood. He wanted to look the man who killed Harry in the eye. Eggsy moved around the table and faced Valentine. The creature looked sad. "Hello, djinn. I see you, I acknowledge you."

"Thank you human," Valentine said. "I can't stop this."

"I know," Eggsy said. "Sucks don't it."

"I don't like blood," he said. "I didn't want to kill Hart."

Eggsy nodded, appreciating that. "How do I stop this. If we stop her is it enough?"

Valentine shook his head. "It is too far gone now. Need to stop us both. You know the calls. You have to use them."

Eggsy nodded. He looked past Valentine to Roxy and Gazelle below. He swallowed as he saw Roxy clearly holding her guts in with one hand. But she was smiling a feral smile. Roxy stayed on her feet long enough for Gazelle to fall down dead before she collapsed.

"You could perhaps save her, but then a few more million people will die. What do you choose?" Valentine asked.

Eggsy pulled out the knife at the small of his back. " _I call to the void, and those who live in it. I bid the mountain trolls and creatures of the sea. See your kith and kin, and set him free_." He threw the knife as hard as he could and it embedded into Valentine's stomach. He fell back away from the computer. Eggsy went around the table and crouched down. "I'm sorry," he said to the djinn.

"Eggsy, the signal is dead. You did it, son. I am proud of ye. Harry would be so proud of ye," Merlin said into his ear.

Eggsy ignored it for now. He held Valentine's hand.

Valentine pointed. "In the table, quick."

Eggsy looked and opened a drawer. "You actually have a lamp." He picked it up and felt the power connect him to Valentine. He went back over and tried to give it to Valentine. "Here."

"No, quickly, I have just enough power. Make a wish. But be careful. Wishes are tricky things." Valentine was coughing up blood.

Eggsy had no clue what to do. "What had she wished for?"

Valentine laughed a little. "For the world to be smaller."

"And all this is what happened?" Eggsy stared at him in horror. "15 years to build and this is what the result was?"

"Magic is a dangerous thing," Valentine rasped out. "I would make amends. If you can be smart enough to make it happen. A boy who can speak the tongue and still have his soul might be smart enough."

Eggsy looked over top Valentine and saw below that Roxy had stopped breathing. He thought about Kel in the room who would now just want to be dead. He thought about Harry and his dad. And he was just so tired.

"Not that clever," Eggsy said.

"Hurry," Valentine urged.

Eggsy shrugged. "I just wish none of this had to happen," he said unthinking. "Wait, no I meant -" he tried to say quickly.

Valentine laughed and blood poured out of his mouth. "Too late." He laughed, "You people never understand how this works." He began to chant voice thinning as he died. But he had enough left in him to finish. Valentine screamed the last few words and exploded in a ball of light.

Eggsy felt himself being flung back and through.

And then there was nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

Eggsy woke up screaming. He had seen corridors of blood, people with missing heads, and a pretty girl who was his mate die, holding her own organs in. It had been horrific. He was sobbing, gasping for breath.

Harry beat Lee to Eggsy's bedroom just barely. "Eggsy, darling, shh. A dream?"

Eggsy shook his head. "Jesus, Haz, like I haven't had a shite dream before," Eggsy said. He frowned and so did Harry.

"Excuse me young man, we don't swear in this house," Harry said sternly.

Lee sat down on the bed and hugged Eggsy. "What was the dream, Eggsy? Do you remember?"

"You were dead. And I was a Kingsman," Eggsy said. He looked at his hands. They had been so big in the dream. "Kentucky, Harry. Don't ever go to Kentucky," he said quickly.

"Good lord, Eggsy, why would I go to Kentucky?" Harry smiled and adjusted his eye patch a little.

Eggsy yawned and Lee helped him settle. "Harry why you wearing that?" he asked sleepily.

"Eggsy I lost my eye last year," Harry said.

"No you didn't," Eggsy frowned. "You had both eyes through my candidacy, until you died in Kentucky."

"That was quite a dream," Harry said and smoothed the blanket around him. 

"Harry, tell me how you lost the eye then," Eggsy said.

"You know how," Harry chided.

"Then tell me again," Eggsy snuggled in and grabbed his bear even though at 9 he was way too old to have a friend like that.

Harry opened his mouth and paused. The story he thought would come out didn't. "I gave it so you wouldn't lose any more in that alley," was what came out of his mouth in the end, completely unexpected. "It was bartered for the book." Harry frowned, he had no idea what book that would have been.

Eggsy was mostly asleep. "You don't find where the line is buried. You find the book, make the knife and just cut the lines. Easier than we thought." He passed out.

Lee shook his head. "What little fantasy story have you two been coming up with? You lost that eye last year in Columbia," Lee whispered. They walked out of Eggsy's room.

"Yes of course," Harry agreed. "Lee, I remembered something I needed to talk to Merlin about."

"Can't it wait for morning?" Lee ran a finger down Harry's arm.

"No, darling, I am frightfully sorry," Harry kissed Lee gently. "Be back quickly."

Lee smiled. "Of course my love."

Harry was quiet as he rode the train to the estate. He kept touching the eye patch. He lost it in Columbia, so why did he keep hearing a voice that had no body say  _offer accepted_. Eggsy grew up so handsome. He shook his head the boy was 9 and had a long way to go before he was grown up. Harry alighted from the train and walked into Merlin's office.

He certainly did not expect the tackle hug from Merlin. Harry stood there as Merlin kissed him deeply.

"River mate," Merlin said huskily. "Ye came back to me." He kissed Harry hungrily again.

Harry finally stepped back and pushed Merlin away. "Merlin!" he shouted when it looked like the monster was going to pull him back in. "Merlin! Control yourself," he ordered sharply.

Merlin blinked and looked at him. "Harry, my love -"

Harry stared at him. "What the hell, Merlin?"

Merlin tilted his head. "The year, Harry."

"You know what year it is. Whatever this trick is, it is unbecoming, even of a monster like you."

Merlin pushed him against the wall and Harry could see his true teeth. "What year is it?"

"1999, just like it has been for 5 months," Harry said calmly. "Now let go of me."

Merlin stepped back and went and sat in his chair. He spun around and made sure Harry couldn't see him. Merlin remembered everything. 15 years of pain and suffering and loneliness without Harry and just a few fleeting moments of joy and warmth. But Harry was alive. He could stand being alone again if Harry was alive. He took three deep breaths and then turned in his chair.

"Apologies for the joke, Galahad. How may I help ye? Ye should be in your bed with Lee," Merlin said a little stiffly.

Harry blushed. "We don't share a room," he said. Merlin nodded to him. "Eggsy had a dream," Harry continued.

"And that was enough to bring ye to me?" Merlin quirked a brow.

"I lost my eye in Columbia," Harry said just a touch uncertain.

Merlin turned and typed. "That is what the system says."

Harry nodded relieved. "What's the knife?" he asked.

Merlin went very still. "The knife?" he asked blandly.

"No," Harry said. "No, I saw that. This wasn't a dream," Harry spun Merlin around and looked at him. "What is this, Merlin?" Harry stared into Merlin's eyes. "Why do you look -"

"It is nothing, Harry. And you just need to forget all this." Merlin clutched the arms of his chair, to not reach out. This was Lee's Harry, not his. Never really his.

"Merlin," Harry whispered. He leaned in just a little.

"Go home, Galahad," Merlin said and gently pushed Harry away. "This isn't our time."

Harry looked ready to fight but something in Merlin stopped him and he walked away.

*************************************************************

Eggsy sat and stared out at the pond with Merlin. "Merlin, I've been here before."

"Of course ye have," Merlin said and he stared at the water. "Many times."

"No...I've been hear before," Eggsy said slowly. "Everything is just a tiny bit different. Slightly off deja vu."

"Ye are mistaken," Merlin said firmly. 

"No. Been 6 years of deja vu," Eggsy said. "Nightmares that are always the same. Always."

"That can happen. Recurring dreams happen." Merlin dug his hand into the gravel they sat on.

"Merlin, tell me the truth," Eggsy pleaded. "Because I wake up screaming for Roxy not to be dead and Harry not to go to Kentucky. And Dad...Dad just isn't in the dreams." Eggsy looked at Merlin. "Merlin, I've been here before."

"You have," Merlin agreed finally.

"What happened?"

Merlin shook his head. "The dreams are bad enough, Eggsy. Ye open that door all the way in your brain, it will only hurt you. Let it be."

"But the door is all the way open for you. You know what happened in the future? That isn't going to happen anymore? Or again?" Eggsy said.

Merlin looked at the water. "Time paradoxes are tricky things."

"No, wishes are tricky things," Eggsy snapped. "And you wanted me to kill you! What the fuck, Kel?" Eggsy shouted.

Merlin grabbed Eggsy close and held him tight and began to chant. He tried to stop the the door from opening all the way in Eggsy's mind but it was difficult. He made the clouds roll in with his prayers and Eggsy was babbling, his mind trying to reconcile all the pieces together, trying to force the door that he was keeping closed.

He could hear footsteps running. He knew them, he would always know them. "Harry!"

"What's happening? What are you doing to him?" Harry asked ready to yank Eggsy out of Merlin's arms. They had been closer over the last two years, not much, but Harry hadn't avoided Merlin and sometimes on the comms, late on a mission they talked. And Harry had grown obsessed with water again.

He never mentioned the dreams he sometimes had.

"I'm trying to save him!" Merlin shouted. "His mind is opening the door it shouldn't."

Harry could hear Eggsy, "The knife, have to make the knife. Fuck Roxy, Roxy don't. Harry Kentucky, no no no no I'm sorry. Kel, I'm sorry I saved JB.  _I call to the -_ "

"NO! Not yet, ye aren't ready for those words yet!" Merlin snarled and renewed his chanting. 

Harry felt the ground shake at the power Merlin was pouring out. He ran to the pond and soaked his blazer in the water, tried to carry as much as he could over. Merlin was covering Eggys's eyes, chanting. Pleading.

Harry dumped the water over them and ran back for more. He did this again and again as Merlin screamed to the heavens and to hell. 

Eggsy was sobbing but every time he began to speak in the same language as Merlin, Merlin covered his mouth. His hand was getting bloody and he didn't even notice. Harry poured more water over them and just said out of nowhere, "The waters of Leithe would help you. Or the book." Harry stumbled back and fell to the ground. "The books. The books." He clutched his head.

"Harry, close that door now, and slam it shut." Merlin growled at him. "I cannae help ye both and Eggsy needs to be saved. Close and lock that door in your mind Harry!" Merlin was almost screaming.

"If I do, we don't find our way to each other," Harry shouted back. "I close it and we might never have our time again."

Merlin held Eggsy tight and looked at Harry and cracked his heart open. "River mate, I will always be waiting here for ye, even if ye never come. Close the door now, my love. By the old gods, I beg ye, close the door so we can save Eggsy."

Harry looked at Merlin and then closed his eye and locked that part of his mind away. Merlin went back to helping Eggsy. Eventually Eggsy and Harry both passed out.

Merlin dragged them both to the estate and put them in beds. He smoothed Eggsy's hair and whispered a prayer for peace for the lad into his ear. He went and kissed Harry's eye patch and walked away.

Eggsy's dreams stopped. And so did his realization of what Merlin was. His ability to see it all was gone. Merlin was just the quartermaster who treated him well and taught him computers.

Merlin waited for the day in the timeline when Harry dropped off the water from the Thames, the day that changed everything.

There was no vial waiting on his bed.

Merlin wept and Chester caught him and laughed even though he didn't know the reason for the monster's tears. He thought maybe he had finally broken the monster.

He hadn't but Merlin was broken nonetheless.

*********************************************************

"Galahad," Chester looked at him. "I am not doing well health wise," he said. "And it is time to begin passing the mantle. I would like to name you my successor. You are the only one to understand what the job truly entails."

"You mean, I already know the truth about Merlin, so makes it easier than trying to sell magic to someone else."

"He is not what he used to be, but is still of great value, even though he has turned much of his job over to young Mr. Unwin." Chester explained. "That has turned out better than I expected. Didn't think the lad had the balls for the job, but 26 now and all the agents trust him in their ear." King smiled a little bit. "I know you used to have feelings for Merlin, but your marriage to Lee suggests you are long over them." Chester leaned back. "I also trust that you know what would happen if you let him go."

Harry looked at King. "Arthur, the second you make me your replacement I will free him."

Chester shook his head. "I thought you would be over this fancy. This dream he could be more than what he is. A foul, vile creature, who at this point loves the chains around his neck."

Harry smiled. "Who else do you have?"

Chester sighed. None of the other Kingsman were up to the job. "I name you my replacement for when I die." He was sure that Harry would do the right thing, the proper thing for the Kingsman.

Harry grinned and in a flash had the bone knife buried into Chester's heart. Chester stared down in shock and horror. For the first time Harry tried to speak the words of Merlin and monsters. " _I call to death, I call to her who awaits us all, take this wretched soul, take it to feed the demons, take it to where it belongs."_ It hurt so much to say them, but he forced them to roll off his tongue. He smiled as Chester died and watched as the magic bound Merlin's chains to his wrist. " _I see the magic that has bound you and now I set thee free_." Harry yanked the knife out of King's chest and sliced at the almost invisible strings.

It felt like an earthquake rolled through the building, that the walls were screaming. And then there was silence.

Harry sat in his chair and looked at King before picking up the body. He carried it through the building and to the bullet train. He dragged it around the back of the estate and to the pond. He put it at the water's edge and waited.

He had to wait a while but he didn't mind. He had waited years after finding the book quite by accident and remembering he had found it once before. He had studied and made the knife. A knife that was whispered about in his dreams but never remembered come morning.

Eventually a horse came out of the water and looked at Harry. "Kel, I brought you a snack." Harry watched the horse drag Chester into the water. There was a great deal of splashing and eventually a leg bobbing on the surface. He waited some more but Merlin never came out of the water. "Be free," Harry whispered. "Forgive me for taking so long to free you." He walked away.

*************************************

Eggsy was celebrating his 30th birthday at headquarters. He still missed Merlin but no one had seen him since Harry had set him free. He watched the people having cake and booze. He was relieved that his dad and Harry were talking nicely. Their divorce last year had shook everyone up, but they just weren't fitting anymore. And Lee had started to date a woman from accounting. 

"Hey, Eggsy," Roxy said bouncing up to him. 

"Hey, Rox," he greeted. He had been thrilled when she had won the Galahad seat when Harry became Arthur, felt like somehow a lost piece of him had been returned when she walked in the door.

"So I found something weird. A pool in the basement in the sealed off area. What is it for?"

"Oh, a monster used to eat people down there," Eggsy said jokingly. In reality he was sure it was an old swimming spot, long abandoned for a more modern pool.

Roxy laughed at that. "Sure don't tell me. Reminds me of a dream I used to have. Swear the boy in it looked like you, and I saw him feed organs to a monster and then we saved the world. On like Valentine's day or something. Ooh, more cake," she said and was gone quick as light.

And Eggsy remembered. Remembered everything and broke his heart on the memories.

"Oh, Kel. Oh holy fuck." Eggsy ran out of the room and to the pond. "Kel, fuck me. Kel." He stared at the water. He began to weep.

Harry came and sat beside him. "So you remembered."

"You remember too?" Eggsy looked at him.

"Last year," Harry said. "Took a good hit to the head. And it all just sank in."

"You and Dad," Eggsy looked at him. "You divorced Dad because of Kel."

Harry nodded. "I couldn't. I couldn't remember the love I felt for Merlin, and still be with your father. It would be dishonest to them both."

"It was never your time."

"No it never was," Harry agreed. 

"He loved you. When you died, he asked me to kill him. He couldn't be in this world without you." Eggsy told Harry. He remembered that last bloody battle and shuddered and realized that his wish had done this to all of them. His wish had destroyed years Merlin and Harry might have had together. "Forgive me."

Harry hugged Eggsy. "If you hadn't we'd all be dead and have nothing." He kissed Eggsy's head. "No regrets for how wishes turn out. They are tricky things."

Eggsy laughed a little at that. It didn't soothe the ache in his heart, that would take a long time to heal.

Harry closed his eyes and dragged his hand through the water. He nodded a little to Eggsy and Eggsy decided to leave him be.

***********************************

Merlin could feel someone coming to the water. He smiled happy, it had been a few months since a tourist stopped for a selfie and he could use a meal. He stepped out of the water in horse form, and pretended to drink. Waited for a woman to coo about how beautiful he was, or a man to say "Dude check it out."

But when the person began walk toward him, he knew who it was. He turned and stared at Harry. He made a noise and stomped his feet.

"Hello, Merlin," Harry said. He waved and Merlin noticed the lack of wedding ring. "I had a bit of time. Thought I could share it with you." Harry took off his shoes and and socks and rolled his pants up. He put his feet in the water, in Merlin's water. He closed his eyes. "Please spend some time with me my river mate." He carefully put down the chain that would allow Merlin to take human form, but Harry had made sure wouldn't bind him, enslave him again.

Harry waited. 

He heard the steps of the horse and then nothing.

A hand that felt mostly human touched his. Harry squeezed back. "You won't eat me," he whispered. He was too scared to open his eyes.

Merlin kissed his cheek. "No, I won't," he agreed. "Do ye trust me?"

Harry finally opened his eyes. "I do," he said.

Merlin looked at him. "Come into the water with me."

Harry kissed Merlin and let the monster drag him into the water. Sink them down, lips tight against each other.

He remembered that his heart was always safe with Merlin. He knew they would come up for air.


End file.
